Write On

I just got back from my graduate fiction workshop class.

I am always so energized when I leave there and think I will come home and just write and write. But then I look at the clock and see that it is after 10, and I remember that I am old and tired, and there is laundry and backpacks to fill. There is an envelope of Box Tops that came in the mail that I have to tape to paper now or it will totally throw off our already pretty shaky morning routine. There is some packing to do for a quick trip to Boston this weekend, the dishwasher has to be run, a few emails need to be checked.

So, I will blog here instead. A few words that make the statement "I am writing everyday" actually true.

Blog a day baby, blog a day.

 

Nada

I got nothing. 

Well, I might have a few things but it is late and I got sucked into the TV show Stalker, except that I have to turn the channel anytime something remotely scary or any potential pop out comes out, so I have missed half the show. 

So I think I might just turn off the TV, try not to have anxiety field dreams about stalkers and hope that I get blogging a bit earlier tomorrow. 

Guest Blog: Dear Dad at the Lego Store

Here is another guest post from another dad. 

Enjoy!

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Dear Dad at the Lego store with a 6 year old and 3 year old daughter in tow....

My friend, when I saw you steering your 6 year old away from her desire to purchase a $90 Lego Cruise ship, I thought, what a salesman! 
Your enthusiasm and expertise espousing the virtues of a $24 Lego set aimed at the fairer sex was nothing short of brilliant. Mad Men have nothing over you. Hell, I was getting ready to buy the same set you were so expertly selling to your oldest little princess! With your littlest (and clueless) beauty in tow, you strode toward the check-out counter and handed the set to the clerk. You were beaming with supreme confidence, a man who stuck to his guns and got the job done...........until........ ......."IT" happened. 

You were SO close.

I am not sure if it was the tears, the screaming and frantic pointing to the upper shelves, or the dramatic, Oscar worthy performance replete with a drop to the knees, that triggered your next utterance. Whatever it was, it made this old man and parent of similar aged kids cringe, when you said, "ok-is that what you want?" You looked beaten. Little Princess stopped crying, and found a smile to melt your heart. A resounding "YES!" sealed your fate.

Awww buddy. You were SO close. I hope you enjoy the 6-8 hours it will take you to put the Cruise Ship together, not to mention the next 5 years or so of stepping on the remnants of the Showdown @ the Lego store in the middle of the night as you tuck in your Little Princess. And, of course, the next performance, which is sure to come to a Toy Store near you.

Sunday

I don't even have a photo for today. 

Sometimes the weekends just get crazy.

There are religion classes and birthday parties, Fall Festivals and impromptu play dates, and that was only today. There are baths, instead of bed, at 8:00 and three kids eating carrots and watching Ninja Turtles at 8:30, the only point in the day where they were both quiet and still.

There is a week coming up with class trips and class photos (fingers crossed those come out ok), more birthday parties and hopefully a few blog-worthy situations that I can share here. 

Saturday

There is nothing like hanging out with some friends who knew you when. Nothing like 15 kids running in a backyard, kickball and glow sticks. 

There is nothing like remembering the old times but allowing for the last 15 or 20 years to define you instead of the the four you spent together in a high school classroom. 

There are fall evenings and the the smoke of fire pits in your hair, old friends and good times. 

Happy Saturday. Happy! Happy! 

Pics of the Week

It's Friday, I slacked off for two days with guest blogs and see no reason why I shouldn't do it again tonight. Here are a couple of pics from the week just to show you what goes on around here sometimes. 

The Little Lady in full on leopard print. I suggested black leggings and was told no. 

The Lady gets a few extra Box Tops!!!

How QT lunches. 

Guest Blog: Sign of the Times

So excited for my guest blogs and excited that I have such a range of readers.

This next one is out of the mouths of babes and is from a great mom friend.

Enjoy.

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A Sign of The Times

Last night I was driving in the car with two third grade girls, a preschooler and me, a 40 year old mom (2 kids of mine + a play date.) We were on a short car ride to literacy night at school.

We were discussing were in the building the event would be held. I told them literacy night was being held in the media center, and they wanted to know why they call the "library," the media center. I explained that books are only one kind of media, and newspapers, TV, and movies are also forms of media.

Our third grade play date pipes up and says "what's a newspaper?" Totally serious. Then she says, "oh I think that's what those things in plastic that they leave at the end of your driveway are?"

I am stunned! The end of and era. I have been hearing about print media dying off in favor of online sources, but has it already happened?

Kids want to know what this strange thing you call "Newspaper" is?  They will never know about getting gifts wrapped in old newspapers. They will never use silly putty to make transfers of the Sunday funnies. They will have no good excuse to hang home on Sunday mornings drink coffee and read their favorite section of the Sunday Times in their PJ's all day long. 

I think I'm going to subscribe to the Sunday Times again. I feel it's my duty to pass on to one more generation the joy of a newspaper.

Guest Blog: Fall TV Preview Guide

It's been a while since we had a guest post. Some of you may remember a few previous posts from the following contributor. If not check them out here and here.

Enjoy!

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For many years my Fall TV preview guest blog on 3Bean had been a calling.  It came natural to me, and something I would accomplish without thought or reason.  Much like a blue tick coonhound must bay upon the tree of its cornered prey,  I felt instinctually obligated to this task.   Then two years dried up without a single submission.  The public decried this lapse and demanded an answer.  Why would I abandon Aileen and refuse to temporarily unburden her?   Was I truly drowning in a pool of my own retarded sexuality?  Well I am back, baby, and here now to redeem both my reputation and my manhood.

New Fall TV lineup:

Things I have not seen:  A to Z, The Affair, Bad Judge,Black-ish, Constantine, Cristela, The Flash, Forever,Gotham, Gracepoint, Happyland, Houdini, How to Get Away With Murder, Intruders, Jane The Virgin, Madam Secretary, Manhattan Love Story, Marry Me, The McCarthys, Mulaney, The Mysteries of Laura, NCIS: New Orleans, Red Band Society, Scorpion, Selfie, Stalker, State of Affairs, Utopia,  Z Nation.

 

Things I have seen: SpongeBob Squarepants (all episodes).  Paw Patrol.  Peppa Pig. 

 

I will now crawl back under the rock from where I have been hiding. May God judge me accordingly.

 

Dylan    

Some Housekeeping

Halloween

The Halloween costumes arrived today. I ordered them online because I thought it would be a ton easier than dragging three kids into Party City and watching the chaos unfold. Also, the Ladies' school had some sort of promotional code to a random website that saved me 30%. 

I was also able to have each kid pick out exactly what they wanted and was able to make sure we got everything we needed. In a rare moment of clarity around the Lady's birthday, I picked up the Elsa wig at Target for the Little Lady. Not going to get burned trying to find one of those as the days of October dwindle. 

The Little Lady sometimes has buyers remorse. She originally wanted to be a character from Monster High. A show I have never seen and neither has she. I was fine getting her the costume if she really wanted it, but she eventually changed her mind to Elsa. I knew there might be a supply problem and there was no way I was buying the $120 dress she saw in the Chasing Fireflys catalog. The costume she got is great, but alas, covered in glitter.

The Lady wanted to be a character from Ever After High, some new set of characters based on the offspring of fairy tale characters. She wanted to be Raven Queen, the daughter of the Evil Stepmother in Snow White, who rebels against a fate decided for her. The costume is mostly black and purple, comes with what looks like fishnet stockings and I had to spring extra for the wig. The Lady thinks this costume couldn't be any cooler. I am just hoping to make it through the second book in the series. 

QT is Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Can I just say that when you type in "teenage mutant ninja turtles" into the search area of a costume website the kids costumes should outnumber the adults. Sexy Leonardo for women? Really? I am all for women going as Ninja Turtles but come on.

He also got a katana, which is Leo's sword. Only one, not two like he really has and we are already prepping him that weapons aren't allowed in school. He has not been deterred from swinging the thing all over the house though. He also wanted to know where his other costumes were (ghost and purple minion). One at a time QT, one at a time. 

Box Tops

I casually asked the Lady about the Box Top collection at school. They now have 344. I am feeling proud, but am hoping some of the other moms step it up. I can't suffer the same letdown as last fall. 

Guest Blogs

There are a few of you out there who have mentioned interest in guest blogging. Now is the time. Seriously, I can't be expected to keep this up, we are only on day 14! I do have one guest post ready for tomorrow. There is nothing sweeter than knowing that all I have to do is copy and paste. 

Box Tops Baby!

It is time for the first Box Tops contest of the year. I just spent the last 25 minutes taping them to photocopied handouts complete with the required Halloween theme.

I had some hard decisions to make. How many would I send in with each kid? The Little Lady is in kindergarten, the class seemed to have a lot of first time elementary school parents, not sure they have been saving the Box Tops. The Lady however told me how many Box Tops her class already has, her teacher keeps count on the white board. Have I mentioned how much I like her teacher?

I think we know where most of them are going.

Now, I have to be fair and send some in with the Little Lady. The handout that came home said something about "If each child just sent in 40 Box Tops. . ." so I went with that number. The Little Lady has 40 Box Tops in her bag. The Lady, well her crazy Box Top-mom is sending her in with 180. Her classroom total so far? 164.

That is right. I am more than doubling that number. There better be some hot chocolate in the Lady's future. The best thing about it is that the contest doesn't end for another two weeks. I can see where the Lady's class sends and then scavenge around my pantry for any labels I may have missed.

Will keep you updated of course.

A Fall Pose

And here is one of the Little Lady. Always posing. . . 

The kids picked some pumpkins today and then we painted them. Tried to get the Halloween decorations out, but they are tucked so far into the recesses of the attic in the garage, I am thinking we might have to buy a few new things this year. 

Hope everyone enjoyed this beautiful day. 

Accessorized!

I think I am in a little bit of trouble here. 

The Lady in Claire's. We didn't leave with the glasses (too big for her face) or her ears pierced like she wanted. But we did leave with some money left over on the gift card she got for her birthday so we will be back. 

Hero in a Half Shell

I am counting Friday as a weekend day. 

Enjoy. Found it at Costco. QT loves it.

Night Posts

So I should apologize for the 10 pm posts this week. The days are kind of getting away from me a little bit and as much as I don't want to half-ass it, sometimes the best I got is a #TBT post of the Lady and the Wild Man posted on a Wednesday.

I am feeling the crunch of this little exercise, but I am not willing to give up yet. 

I could tell you about the Bamboo breakdown that QT had when he realized he wasn't taking him home this week, or that in the tub tonight he sang a song about Jesus that he learned at chapel, and followed it immediately up by a song that went something like this I am sitting on a football with my dirty butt. Which was in fact exactly what he was doing in the tub.

I can tell you about the picture the Little Lady drew for a boy in her class, who she only mentioned one other time and that was Tuesday. It said I love you. 

Or I could just tell you that today was a good day when homework and tubs got done early, a day I actually saw the Lady eat a vegetable and almost, almost stay in her seat for all of dinner. 

It might not be the best blog material, but it's the best you are going to get tonight. I mean I could have just thrown up another pic, but I am saving that for the weekend. 

TBT: The Lady and the Wild Man

A little TBT from some apple picking adventures.

2010

  2014

I Scream, You Scream

I seriously have to say things like this about a hundred times a day.

I am convinced my kids think that bloodcurdling screams are the most effective way to deal with things such as:

1. My sister is standing on the stool and I wanted to stand on the stool!

2. American Girl dolls DO NOT belong in my bed!

3. My brother put his hands near me.

4. I HATE books.

5. Milk! Milk! Milk! 

Each incident expressed in a volume so incredibly loud and intense that I have had to start saying things like "use your inside screaming voice, not the one that makes the neighbors contemplate dialing 911."

I am pretty sure they aren't getting the message. 

Projects in our Pjs

This is how we do pre-school projects. 

Not sure if the project is Pinterest worthy, but I will say I have been pinning every apple-based recipe I can find for that bowl full of apples on the table. 

I have to say I am a little sad to see Bamboo go. However, I think we can keep ourselves occupied with the 8,000 other Beanie Boos my children own. 

Sunday Funday

It was a glorious fall day today. Took the kids to the beach to ride scooters and bikes then play at the park. Headed up to hang with my brother and nephew after that. Of course, Bamboo came along for a few pics.

The Little Lady

The Lady, minus a few teeth

QT

An attempt at a cute pic of the three of them. QT can't keep his eyes open in the bright sun. Bamboo had no such problem.

 Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend!

A Happy Medium?

I've decided to forgo the Mandarin lessons and try to capture Bamboo in QTs more natural state. However, I have decided everything looks a little nicer with a filter so Bamboo's adventures will be at the very least, Instagrammed. 

Second Grade Fashonista

The Lady is 7 now.

I can't believe it.

And all of a sudden she is a big girl and second grade seems very mature to me.

I am pretty sure I was rocking sweatpants in the second grade.

Me--circa second grade

 The Lady wants only to shop at Justice.


If you aren't familiar with the store Justice, just head to your local mall and find the store with the most embellished, sequined, bedazzled clothes that you can find and walk right in. That is Justice.

The thing is that I don't necessarily have a problem with some of their clothes, it is just that I feel like some of these stores are trying to sell a very adult fashion sense to a very non-adult crowd. Also, they like to make you think that you are getting a bargain by marking everything down by 40% every single time you walk in the store, but really at the end of the day you are still walking out of there with a $20 sequined t-shirt that will probably start disintegrating in the wash.

What I also find super annoying is that in addition to selling clothes and some accessories, bags, shoes, hair stuff, they also sell a ton of useless items that are very, very, appealing to the second grade crowd. There are blinged out diaries, candy, stuffed animals, and my personal favorite--the modern day version of Teen Beat magazines that have up to 12 posters of One Direction, R5, 5SOS that the Lady wants to hang on her wall.

Don't know who those bands are? Don't worry, I am pretty sure the Lady couldn't pick out one of their songs either, although Ross from R5 is on the Disney Channel show Austin and Ally and was in Teen Beach Movie, a soundtrack we know all too well at our house.

The Lady. Granted none of these clothes are from Justice, but still, I think you see what I am saying here. Also, please ignore those fuzzy socks on the floor and the sparkly Hello Kitty high-tops the Little Lady is wearing.

It is amazing to see how much the Lady has grown up in the last year, but I am still wanting to pick her clothes out from Baby Gap and the more basic the better. I have to learn to let go a little, without letting her grow up too quickly. A very precarious position nowadays.

Oh, and I just got an email from the store "Brothers" the companion store to Justice geared towards boys. I can guarantee you QT will never be shopping there. However, everything is 50% off!

Bamboozled

So QT came home with the class mascot today. And while I am super excited that it isn't an actual alive pet, we do have to hang out with this little panda all weekend, photograph him doing things alongside us and then print said photographs and write about his panda adventures.

Did I mention we are the first ones to host him? That means I am looking at a blank binder filled with empty pages and left with a choice: do I take a few photos of Bamboo at the park and playing with trucks, a shot of him eating some carrots and call it a day? Or do I go all Pinterest-mom on this project and really set a high standard? 

Since I have nothing to go on, do I burden my fellow moms with an unreasonable amount of adventure? 

There's Bamboo in a paper mâché hot air balloon, there he is at the Chinese-American cultural center learning Mandarin, Ni hao Bamboo! There he is yachting on the Sound. 

Suddenly our low-key weekend doesn't seem so great. At least last weekend we went apple picking, Maybe I can photoshop him in a pic or two. I mean in all honesty, I am not sure Bamboo wants to be photographed with a near nude QT as he plays, pants less with his trucks. Pretty sure he doesn't want to show up in the photo where I am dragging the Lady to religion on Sunday, and am damn sure Bamboo wants no photographic proof of his involvement in any of the Little Lady's adventures, including, but not limited to, her hiding in her closet eating Smarties and applying lipstick. 

We will see what the weekend brings for us and for Bamboo. But let me tell you, I am feeling like making some paper mâché. 

This Stinks

Minnie-Ru smells like poo. That or something is decomposing in the way back.

A leaky cooler is the real culprit but I can't believe spilled water could smell so bad. I was half expecting to find a full glass of curdled milk beneath the seat.

We have been driving around in rainy weather with the windows down. I have been sticking my head out like some sort of dog. The Little Lady held her nose the entire ride to school on Monday. My husband told me he threw up a little bit in his mouth after getting into her on Tuesday after she sat and baked in the sun.

Would a wet vac work? We tried Fabreeze. I had visions of me blindfolding my husband and leading him unsuspectingly into a fresh smelling trunk (stay with me here, this isn't some 50 Shades fan fiction or Criminal Minds episode) where he would think he was in some meadow of windflowers before removing the blindfold and throwing his head back in disbelief while we both laughed and inhaled deeply that sweet, sweet air.  You know what I say to that? Fabreeze you are full of lies!

It didn't work. Our neighbor knocked on our door yesterday to tell us that the back of the van was open, we had to nod and smile, thank him for the concern, all the while hoping, praying that leaving it open for a couple of hours would actually do some good. 

I'd like to think that after four days the smell has dissipated or maybe I am just getting used to it, or maybe my nasal cavity has been so badly damaged by the smell that I am considering hanging a pair of smelly jellies from the rear view mirror just to brighten it up a bit. 

Any which way, we are still violated daily by that rank odor. Any suggestions to save us from the stank?