Motherhood in the Sweet Spot

My children are no longer babies. While they will always be my 3 Beans, we have reached what I like to call the sweet spot in parenting.

That's right. It can happen. Everyone can get dressed by themselves, feed themselves, respond to and follow simple demands (although this might take some repetition), and for the most part function normally in society, with the exception of them running through hotel hallways and Target aisles like gazelles being pursued on an African plain.

The transition from newborns to toddlers to tweens did not take long. And while I miss the sweet, smelling newborns against my skin, the inquisitive toddlers exploring their world and the toothless smiles of kindergarten and first grade, I am grateful for this time that I find myself in.

This is the best I got of all 3 of them!

The Lady is 11. While she is a full on tween who is navigating middle school, social media and the expectations and changes associated with her age, she hasn't quite reached the point where she has sequestered herself in her room. She still allows me to hug her, tell her how much I love her, and dance terribly in front of her without too much embarrassment or rolling of her eyes. She is the most introverted yet independent of my children and demands the least attention from me, for now.

The Little Lady is 9 going on 19. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, is quick to lash out, but loves, loves so freely. She is social and funny and wants more than anything to spend time with her family (when she isn't staring at a screen of course!) playing games, watching movies, baking and creating. She does roll her eyes--frequently, but what she wants most is my attention and time, for now.

QT is 7. How did my baby get so old? He asks the most random questions that I can tell he has been thinking about and then just kind of starts to speak as if we all have been part of the conversation going on in his head. He loves video games and hanging out with his friends. He is always coming really close to the proverbial "line" and can still for the most part get away with it by batting his long eyelashes and smiling, for now.

For now, what I want is to recognize this time, take advantage of it before the doors close and the eyes really roll. For now, I want my children to see our family as a safe space, to be themselves wholly and without fear or doubt before the outside influences, the peer pressure, the impact on their self-confidence continues to creep its way in. Life is coming for them but for now, in this sweet spot of time, I want them to know that their terrible dancing, Grateful Dead loving, lapsed runner and blogger of a mom is here and loving each of them for who they are right now.

All I Want for Christmas is My Van Detailed

Seriously, a full car clean out is on the top of my list this year. Why? Well, how about I tell you in song. .  .

The Twelve Days of Christmas (A van-themed edition by The Three Bean Salad)

On the first day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

A cracked and scratched DVD

On the second day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Two beach pails, and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the third day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the fourth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the fifth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

A few fallen goldfish

On the sixth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the seventh day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Seven fruit snack wrappers, six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Eight bottle caps broken, seven fruit snack wrappers, six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the ninth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Nine Arcade Tokens, eight bottle caps broken, seven fruit snack wrappers, six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the tenth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Ten little Legos, nine arcade tokens, eight bottle caps broken, seven fruit snack wrappers, six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the eleventh day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Eleven popcorn pieces, ten little Legos, Nine arcade tokens, eight bottle caps broken, seven fruit snack wrappers, six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

On the twelfth day of Christmas my Minivan gave to me

Twelve Dunkies napkins, eleven popcorn pieces, ten little Legos, nine arcade tokens, eight bottle caps broken, seven fruit snack wrappers, six lollipops sticking, five goldfish, four juice box straws, three French fries, two beach pails and a cracked and scratched DVD

********

MiniRu could probably stand an external wash as well

I did clean out MiniRu yesterday, and by clean out I mean removed a ton of crap ranging from Laffy Taffy stuck underneath the Little Lady's booster to a single strand of uncooked spaghetti. Car detailing is definitely on my Christmas List. What is the craziest thing you have found in your car?

Deck the Halls

Oh dear me, it is December!

Our Elf the Shelf, Lightning McQueen, showed up and on the second night I almost forgot to move him. Might be a long month of this, especially now that the Lady and her girlfriends text each other photos of their elves.

Moms--you are killing me! I am doing the bare minimum of remembering to move this thing at night and now I have to scroll through the Lady's texts to make sure that Lightning is up to par with Chippy or Lulu or Buddy! I am literally putting this elf on a shelf. And really do they need clothes? What a freaking racket!

After the stress ball that was last December with packing and moving and trying to get it all together, I was thinking that come December 1, I would unpack my carefully organized Christmas decorations and deck the halls.

This is what my mantle/fireplace looks like right now.

A few things you may notice:

1. Lightning McQueen in a vase
2. A Halloween pumpkin painted like a black cat that hasn't started rotting yet so I haven't tossed it in the woods.
3. Two gingerbread Turkeys
4. Some fall artwork by the Little Lady
5. Two out of our 5 Advent calendars (I have a really cute wooden one in the attic)
6. QT and the Little Lady's school photos (yes, the Little Lady is wearing a leather jacket)
7. Some Uggliest Pet Shop dogs, which are disgusting but very important to QT
8. The shattered hopes and dreams of a mom with three kids who thought that she would be living with a garland draped mantle and cinnamon-scented air

Oh well, I guess I could get it all out tonight.

Have you started decorating for the Holidays?Fa la la la la. . .

Weekend Wrap Up

We had a busy weekend. We got together with our old neighbors. Luckily, we have both moved on to better living situations, however it is not on the cul de sac we planned and it is unfortunately in two different states. Still, so nice to see everyone and to catch up!

The old gang back together!

After the Little Lady had a meltdown about attending a Daisy meeting, I bribed her with some lipstick from CVS, forced her to come T-back bra shopping with me and finally got her to her first Girl Scouts meeting, an hour before my hubby and I had to go to a wedding.

Full disclosure, I got a little drunk. Perhaps too much wine was imbibed, but it was a beautiful day, a beautiful location, and I have the luxury of knowing that my hubs will drive me home safe.

Me and my hubby, probably only one glass of wine in, maybe two!

The 6:30 a.m. alarm that went off the next morning so he could fly out to Dallas came way too quick and my only saving grace was that my sister had the kids. We met up with her and my aunt at hotel the next town over where my aunt was staying after going to a different wedding.

What is it with my kids and hotel lobbies? It is like they have never seen furniture before. They jump from couch to couch, feel the need to touch everything and runaround like it is some sort of playscape. The Lady told me she wanted the lobby to be our house.

We took advantage of that space for a while and then moved on. It was mid-day, I needed coffee and couldn't quite fathom what I was going to do with the Beans for the rest of the afternoon. My ideal version of events for the rest of the day would be me sitting on the couch not getting anything for anyone and catching up on the DVR, while the kids prepped meals and put themselves to bed at 7:30.

But I know a body in motion tends to stay in motion and we needed to keep moving for at least a few more hours before I could sink into a DVR-induced coma on my couch.

It was a beautiful day so we headed to the pumpkin patch. The kids ran the maze, we took a hayride, I finally got some mums for our porch, which I will also admit I was entirely too excited about. Mums! Fall! Yay!

The Little Lady and QT

Mazing it

Is that Bieber's penis pic on the right? No, just pumpkins for our porch!

We loaded everything into the car and when we got home, my kids actually went outside and painted their pumpkins. The hour or so of quiet I had was glorious. Yes, I was left to clean the brushes and spot clean the couch after QT sat down with a still slightly wet mini-gourd covered in blue paint, but I also got to search out my go-to shows on weekends, which are anything about Alaska (seriously, there are at least 100 shows out there about Alaska) and anything related to Little People and their families. I am just waiting for TLC to come out with "Little People in the Last Frontier" it will be television gold.

Hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend!

Hot Cross Hell and Other Happenings

We are well into the swing of the school year here and to say that we have been busy would be an understatement.

Of course, these are The Three Beans we are talking about here so no new activity starts with smiles and skips, it is more like screams and storming off into other rooms.

We started Religion, which consisted of the Lady standing outside her classroom facing the wall telling the Director of Religion Ed “But I have been coming here for two years!” before she was bribed with some candy and the escorted into the classroom by the very sweet assistant from her Communion class last year. 

You would think the Little Lady might be more open to things, this being her first year of Religion and having nothing to compare it to, you could imagine that instead of standing at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed saying simply. “No. No.” and then after finally seeing her sister go into her classroom having to be carried in by me, placed next to the teacher on the floor where they were gathered before immediately popping up and running out of the classroom.

Pick up went much better, the Little Lady came out with a new friend and everyone got candy from the Director. The Lady now doesn’t give me a hard time about Religion at all, partially because of the candy and partially because she has moved all her angst onto going to dance class.

Seriously Lady, this was you just a few short months ago, full of confidence before your big recital and now you are giving me a hard time about dance?

The Little Lady loves dance, swim not so much, but we are adjusting.

Where is QT in all of this? Happily getting up and going to school, going to swim, you know going with the flow.

********

Hot Cross Hell

The Lady turned 8 this week. 8! I can’t believe it, not only have I now been blogging for 7 years, but the Lady is two years away from 10. Third grade is a big year and she has a good group of friends and another good class this year. Know what else she got this year? A recorder.

I like to think there is a special place in Hell for the lowest of the low, criminals who are reprehensible, child abusers and molesters, rapists, murderers, you get the picture. And these awful people are subject to the constant loop of third graders blowing into their recorders the first day they get them.

The Lady took hers into the car (on the way to dance) and just blew into it along to the beat of the music playing on the radio. At least I think that is what she was doing, it could have just been mimicking the sound of a dying animal, can’t be 100% on that one.

Now I am a staunch supporter of music and art in schools. I think it is necessary and I think that kids should be exposed to more of it, but at this point I think I would rather the Lady have brought home a set of drums covered in glitter.

I remember getting my own recorder in elementary school. Our music teacher, Mr. Potter actually carved our names into the back of them and we wore it around our necks on a string. I remember learning Hot Cross Buns. I can still play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder. Know what the Lady came home playing on Monday? You guessed it. And my did she practice. I will say it got better. However, not only did I get a turn playing it, but so did QT and the Little Lady. And then there is that stick thing they clean it with. My gag reflex is going into overdrive just typing this. Ugh. Recorder spit.

*******

On Organization

 

I have been a bit more organized this year. I know it is a combination of being in a bigger space, having some flexibility to work from home some days and the fact that all three kids are in the same school. Part of me really wants this to be a lifestyle blog along the lines of Preserve or GOOP or Martha Stewart, where everything is pretty and organized. And some days I am a very, very cheap knockoff of that, I have bins that hold all their snacks for lunch! I created a homework station that keeps everything in one place! I have a giant expandable folder that has a few folders for each kid and all the good stuff goes in and all the rest gets shredded! But lets be honest here, some mornings are still pure chaos. And if you are looking for a lifestyle blog that revels in that type of chaos, doesn’t post anything for months, and sometimes uses swear words, I think you have found the right place.

Hope everyone’s having a good start to the school year!

Back to School

It is September! That means back to school, pumpkin donuts at Dunkies, me trying to once again gain control of my life and get organized!

All three beans are in the same school on the same schedule. At least until dance and religion and possibly soccer and maybe swimming start.

But right now it is 97 degrees out and the kids are getting released early from school because of the heat.

Deep breaths!

Summer was crazy busy and a ton of fun.

The Lady is a fish in the water, she tackled the water slide at the pool, rode the waves at the beach house, the Jersey shore and OBX.

 The Little Lady got on roller coasters and rides that made my feet tingle by just looking at them, she turned 6 and went to camp with her cousins.

QT and I spent A LOT of time together this summer, but he got out and about. He turned 4, went to camp, spent time with his feet in actual sand and took a few bike rides in his Ninja Turtle helmet.

I got pretty tan, started training for my second 1/2 marathon this year and experienced all the highs and lows of working from home 4 days a week in the summer!

My husband tore his Achilles tendon the last week of school, got surgery, spent some time in a boot and is finally able to carry sleeping kids out of the car and drive a few balls off the range.

All things considered we had a pretty good summer.

Back to blogging!

Snow Day

How is everyone holding up out there?

This is a picture of our mailbox from the other day. I know a lot of you have had it a lot worse, but I am just about done here.

Two hour delay on Monday, two hour delay on Wednesday, no school today.

I am still working. The only drawback of working from home is that it doesn't matter what the weather is.

What is going on here? Oh, I woke up to a freezing cold house, we are out of oil. Thankfully, my hubby started a fire and the oil guys are on their way.

The Lady is engrossed in the iPad, the Little Lady is perusing Pinterest for St. Patrick's Day craft ideas and QT is involved in a combination of somersaults and Angry Birds.

I will say it is pretty out there, but then again, I didn't have to shovel this morning!

Out of Hibernation

In October I took some time off.

I took some time off from work, from blogging, from social media (well, I silently stalked, but didn't do much posting!).

I tried to refocus on myself, my family and my friends. I tried to step back and be more present, rather than rush through each day high on anxiety.

And I think it worked.

Granted, we moved two weeks before Christmas while my husband was on the West Coast and I had to deal with crazies on our old Condo Board and the uncertainty of whether or not we could find a place to move into in the 30-day turnaround time we had.

But I did it. The kids did it. My husband came home to a new house and we segued pretty fluently.

We cut down a Christmas tree. I hosted Christmas. (We have so much more space, that for the first few weeks we were here, I flew into a panic more than once thinking that one of my kids were missing. Turns out they were just in another room.)

All these things that had been in motion for so long, gradually fell into place and I didn't for one minute take it for granted.

I am back at work now and working some days from home. Trying to find the balance in a new situation. Happy for the space outside, the space inside, an office with a closed door. Two extra hours a day with my kids, lots and lots of QT time. I am looking forward to getting back to blogging, back to chronicling my life, and my life with my family.

There were a few things you may have missed though:

• QT is not allowed to use the child cart at Trader Joe's ever again.
• I may have signed up to be class mom for the Little Lady.
• The Lady is taking contemporary dance. The Little Lady? Hip-Hop. Can't wait for the recital.
• I am now making crock pot yogurt and homemade granola.
• I have turned into someone who wears "house shoes" because the floors are freezing here.
• I am training for a half marathon.
• I have a new niece. Pseudonym to come!

 Stay tuned for more of the Three Beans. . .

Pics of the Week

It's Friday, I slacked off for two days with guest blogs and see no reason why I shouldn't do it again tonight. Here are a couple of pics from the week just to show you what goes on around here sometimes. 

The Little Lady in full on leopard print. I suggested black leggings and was told no. 

The Lady gets a few extra Box Tops!!!

How QT lunches. 

Some Housekeeping

Halloween

The Halloween costumes arrived today. I ordered them online because I thought it would be a ton easier than dragging three kids into Party City and watching the chaos unfold. Also, the Ladies' school had some sort of promotional code to a random website that saved me 30%. 

I was also able to have each kid pick out exactly what they wanted and was able to make sure we got everything we needed. In a rare moment of clarity around the Lady's birthday, I picked up the Elsa wig at Target for the Little Lady. Not going to get burned trying to find one of those as the days of October dwindle. 

The Little Lady sometimes has buyers remorse. She originally wanted to be a character from Monster High. A show I have never seen and neither has she. I was fine getting her the costume if she really wanted it, but she eventually changed her mind to Elsa. I knew there might be a supply problem and there was no way I was buying the $120 dress she saw in the Chasing Fireflys catalog. The costume she got is great, but alas, covered in glitter.

The Lady wanted to be a character from Ever After High, some new set of characters based on the offspring of fairy tale characters. She wanted to be Raven Queen, the daughter of the Evil Stepmother in Snow White, who rebels against a fate decided for her. The costume is mostly black and purple, comes with what looks like fishnet stockings and I had to spring extra for the wig. The Lady thinks this costume couldn't be any cooler. I am just hoping to make it through the second book in the series. 

QT is Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Can I just say that when you type in "teenage mutant ninja turtles" into the search area of a costume website the kids costumes should outnumber the adults. Sexy Leonardo for women? Really? I am all for women going as Ninja Turtles but come on.

He also got a katana, which is Leo's sword. Only one, not two like he really has and we are already prepping him that weapons aren't allowed in school. He has not been deterred from swinging the thing all over the house though. He also wanted to know where his other costumes were (ghost and purple minion). One at a time QT, one at a time. 

Box Tops

I casually asked the Lady about the Box Top collection at school. They now have 344. I am feeling proud, but am hoping some of the other moms step it up. I can't suffer the same letdown as last fall. 

Guest Blogs

There are a few of you out there who have mentioned interest in guest blogging. Now is the time. Seriously, I can't be expected to keep this up, we are only on day 14! I do have one guest post ready for tomorrow. There is nothing sweeter than knowing that all I have to do is copy and paste. 

Hero in a Half Shell

I am counting Friday as a weekend day. 

Enjoy. Found it at Costco. QT loves it.

Night Posts

So I should apologize for the 10 pm posts this week. The days are kind of getting away from me a little bit and as much as I don't want to half-ass it, sometimes the best I got is a #TBT post of the Lady and the Wild Man posted on a Wednesday.

I am feeling the crunch of this little exercise, but I am not willing to give up yet. 

I could tell you about the Bamboo breakdown that QT had when he realized he wasn't taking him home this week, or that in the tub tonight he sang a song about Jesus that he learned at chapel, and followed it immediately up by a song that went something like this I am sitting on a football with my dirty butt. Which was in fact exactly what he was doing in the tub.

I can tell you about the picture the Little Lady drew for a boy in her class, who she only mentioned one other time and that was Tuesday. It said I love you. 

Or I could just tell you that today was a good day when homework and tubs got done early, a day I actually saw the Lady eat a vegetable and almost, almost stay in her seat for all of dinner. 

It might not be the best blog material, but it's the best you are going to get tonight. I mean I could have just thrown up another pic, but I am saving that for the weekend. 

Projects in our Pjs

This is how we do pre-school projects. 

Not sure if the project is Pinterest worthy, but I will say I have been pinning every apple-based recipe I can find for that bowl full of apples on the table. 

I have to say I am a little sad to see Bamboo go. However, I think we can keep ourselves occupied with the 8,000 other Beanie Boos my children own. 

Sunday Funday

It was a glorious fall day today. Took the kids to the beach to ride scooters and bikes then play at the park. Headed up to hang with my brother and nephew after that. Of course, Bamboo came along for a few pics.

The Little Lady

The Lady, minus a few teeth

QT

An attempt at a cute pic of the three of them. QT can't keep his eyes open in the bright sun. Bamboo had no such problem.

 Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend!

A Happy Medium?

I've decided to forgo the Mandarin lessons and try to capture Bamboo in QTs more natural state. However, I have decided everything looks a little nicer with a filter so Bamboo's adventures will be at the very least, Instagrammed. 

Bamboozled

So QT came home with the class mascot today. And while I am super excited that it isn't an actual alive pet, we do have to hang out with this little panda all weekend, photograph him doing things alongside us and then print said photographs and write about his panda adventures.

Did I mention we are the first ones to host him? That means I am looking at a blank binder filled with empty pages and left with a choice: do I take a few photos of Bamboo at the park and playing with trucks, a shot of him eating some carrots and call it a day? Or do I go all Pinterest-mom on this project and really set a high standard? 

Since I have nothing to go on, do I burden my fellow moms with an unreasonable amount of adventure? 

There's Bamboo in a paper mâché hot air balloon, there he is at the Chinese-American cultural center learning Mandarin, Ni hao Bamboo! There he is yachting on the Sound. 

Suddenly our low-key weekend doesn't seem so great. At least last weekend we went apple picking, Maybe I can photoshop him in a pic or two. I mean in all honesty, I am not sure Bamboo wants to be photographed with a near nude QT as he plays, pants less with his trucks. Pretty sure he doesn't want to show up in the photo where I am dragging the Lady to religion on Sunday, and am damn sure Bamboo wants no photographic proof of his involvement in any of the Little Lady's adventures, including, but not limited to, her hiding in her closet eating Smarties and applying lipstick. 

We will see what the weekend brings for us and for Bamboo. But let me tell you, I am feeling like making some paper mâché. 

When September Ends

Did everyone make it?

Did you make it through September? The new schedules, the new shoes, the new ways your children have found to prolong getting out of bed, complain about going to school and cause you unwavering anxiety in only the first month of school after a summer of sleeping in and doing pretty much whatever they wanted in the morning?

Did you send them off for the first time? For the third? To a new school? To one you love?

I did.

We are finally getting into some sort of groove at our house. We have double the homework at our house, although the Little Lady's is still pretty much coloring at this point. It has made the evenings go by much quicker. I will admit to nights of wishing my children to bed and clock watching starting at 5:45 when I walk in the door from work, but now, I find myself realizing that after dinner, homework and the occasional bath that it is 7:30 before we have a minute to breathe.Then we have to do reading log.

Oh Rainbow Fairy's how I have missed you and your trite, plot-less adventures.

QT is enjoying school. Did you all see his cute face on the first day? Oh you did? Here is another pic just because. . .

The other night, he crawled into my bed after his sisters were asleep and I was half asleep, put his hands on my face, turned it towards him and said "Let's talk about school, I love the snacks." I love snacks too, QT but it is 9:45 and momma's tired. (I do realize that 9:45 might not seem that late, but I had been a dirty stay out Saturday night and really needed to catch up on some sleep!)

I hope you all are getting through the endless piles of handouts that come home each night, have written your checks for school photos, the $10 wrapping paper for the fundraiser, and the book fair. I hope your kids are liking, loving, managing with all the new that was thrown at them this September and I hope that you, like me, are making the adjustments necessary to send them off every morning ready to start their day. 

The One With QT at the Movies

I left a grey and raining beach mid-day on Sunday only to drive into 90 degrees and sunny as we made our way home.

We had made plans to see How to Train your Dragon 2 with my sister and her kids but the only showing was at 1:30 and there was no way that I was making it out of the beach house and back home by then, but there was a 5:00 showing of the new Planes Fire and Rescue movie in 3D and it seemed like it was something we could get to if people just learned how to drive on 95 and if QT didn't have to stop to go to the bathroom.

Well QT did have to go to the bathroom but by the time I pulled off the exit he had stopped screaming about it. I went to get him out of the car and he asked me why we were stopped. I said so that he could go to the bathroom, he said he already had. Great. Luckily, we were only 20 minutes from home.

After stripping the car seat and taking a quick shower we headed out to the movies. $88 later (and this didn't include paying for QT because he is 3 and under) we headed in.

I just want to say that I didn't really enjoy the first Planes movie and was trying to figure out if it would be possible for me to take a nap during this film, because I had zero interest in actually watching it. No worries though, I think I saw a full five minutes total.

After sitting down, putting on 3D glasses and eating way too much sugar, QT got out of his seat. He climbed over the row of seats in front of us and walked towards the aisle still wearing his glasses. He then made his way back to his empty seat after some not so hushed directions from his mother.

Then he had to pee.

I ushered him out of the theater and towards the bathroom. It was set up where you are supposed to enter on one side and exit on the other. I went towards the entrance, he went towards the exit. When I went back to get him, I realized he had run out of the bathroom. I found him sneaking into Theater 10 with what I can only describe as a devilish grin on his face.

I finally drag him back to the bathroom. Now, he is still not tall enough to pee standing up in a woman's bathroom. I think when he is tall enough, he probably won't have to be in the woman's bathroom with me but until then he has to sit. What he didn't have to do was use his 3D glasses to direct the flow. (Insert your own penis joke here.)

We wash hands, head back to the theater and sit down. This lasted for about three seconds before he was once again climbing over the seats and hanging out in the aisle. That was it for me. I left my sister with the Ladies and headed out with QT in my arms, 3D glasses on my head.

As we leave the theater I tell him he has to recycle the glasses. He feigns putting them into the bin two or three times, each time looking over at me like he is getting away with something, before he finally drops them into the cardboard box and then immediately drops to the floor crying "My glasses, my glasses." And I though the Little Lady was high drama.

We spent the next 10 minutes looking at the life size cardboard cut outs of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before I realized that we would not be able to wait out the ending of the movie by naming each Ninja Turtle over and over. So I did what any other mother would do and we headed towards the huge escalator. What I probably should have done was insisted that he hold my hand. It clearly says to do so, but QT wanted to do it himself, so that is when I found myself riding backwards down the escalator while my 3-year-old waited at the top. He then decided that instead of taking the escalator he would take the 45 stairs down to meet me all by himself. Ugh.

I did finally get him to hold my hand and we rode the escalator for a time or two before that wore out its usefulness. Now what? I had no idea how much more time we had to kill before Dusty Crophopper finally finished what I can only imagine was rescuing someone during a fire. We took one last ride to the top and exited the theater at the top of the parking garage.

I briefly considered taking him into the shoe store. He needs new sneakers, but then I had a vision of him just running and hiding behind all those stacks of shoes and me just losing my mind. Then I remembered the pet store. Now, you know things must have been dire for me to want to enter a pet store. Granted, there was the possibility that we would see a puppy or two wandering the aisles, but really what types of pets do they have there? None I want in my house.

We got into the elevator that reeked so horribly of piss that I had to cover my mouth with my shirt to breathe, while simultaneously trying to get QT to not touch one thing in there. "Why?" he kept asking. "For the love of God kid--can't you smell the rank, malodorous stank emanating from this metal box of germs?"

Finally the doors opened and we walked towards the pet store.

The pet store has its own type of gross smell. That kind of cage liner/pellet food combination that is immediately nauseating and turns one into a mouth breather.

But QT loved the fish and we watched them for a few minutes before heading over towards the ferrets, the birds (the birds!), the hamsters, gerbils, mice and rats, before making our way over towards the reptiles. I am always on edge in these stores, I can't believe that all the animals are caged. I am just waiting for some sort of lizard to crawl up my back or something. Breath Bean, breath (but only through your mouth), but I am conscious of the fact that my kids might actually not care and that they might be interested in the things they are seeing. I rattled off the names of the geckos and the lizards, we talked about what types of food the reptiles ate. We were happy to run into a dog in the aisle, an actual real pet, we contemplated the best type of cat house/scratching post and when the text came from my sister that Dusty was finally done we headed back up that urine-soaked elevator and met up with everyone else.

Three things I learned from this outing.

1. QT might be in that sweet spot of an age where you should never, ever take him to a theater. Perhaps when he is 4 he will have a better attention span.

2. Instead of trying to find a rest stop on the way home, just stop at the closest elevator. Clearly, the two are interchangable.

3. Sometimes it just isn't in the cards to see a subpar Disney film, sometimes you just have to talk about Geckos and pretend that 5 ferrets sleeping on top of each other is cute, but whatever it is that you are doing try to engage and interact with that incredibly active kid of yours but for the love of all things good and holy do not let him touch anything in that elevator.

Part III: Sunday

The soft bray of the foghorn woke me. I sat up and pulled the shades down hoping that it would allow everyone to sleep a little bit longer. I had no idea what time it was, my cellphone was charging in the outlet across the room, but it felt early.

I got my bearings, QT at the foot of the double bed he and I were sleeping in, his head facing the end of the bed, his feet at my hip; the Little Lady almost completely covered in her green blanket on the single Aero bed on the floor; the Lady, her back to me, on the single bed against the wall. I pulled the top sheet over me, rolled over, tried to ignore the chatter of the early birds, the bark of dogs and fell back to sleep.

When I woke later, after sending all three kids downstairs and trying to ignore what sounded like them dumping every single thing out of every single bucket, container and bin in the sun room onto the floor, I slid on my new bathing suit and beach dress (thank you Old Navy) and headed downstairs.

There is nothing like the first day at the beach, packing the sandwiches and snacks, spraying the suntan lotion and grabbing the toys. There is nothing like having your kids throw on some bathing suits (Oh, you aren't going to wear a cover up at all and I won't notice until we actually get to the beach? No worries.) and head out full of excitement. There is nothing like setting your flip-flopped feet into the warm sand and not hearing anyone complain. There is nothing like watching the Ladies in the water, QT building in the sand.

It was Sunday. It was gorgeous. It was good.

Part II: Saturday

Saturday

8:30 a.m.: The phone rings. It is my husband. The van is ready to be picked up. QT is still sleeping and one of the Ladies has at some point crept into my bedroom and taken one of the iPads.

8:45 a.m.: Pancakes for everyone. I prep the kids that we are going to have to leave soon to go get the van. I tell them I am not sure exactly how we are going to get there. The Lady suggests the Trolley. (Our city has a free Trolley that loops around and connects the area where we saw Frozen on Friday night with the downtown, near where the van is.) I have been talking about taking this Trolley for weeks. We have a plan.

9:10 a.m.: I Google the Trolley. I find out the closest stop to our house and see that they have a mobile app where you can follow the Trolley in real time. I throw on some yoga pants, promise donuts and start barking out commands to the kids, "get dressed, brush your hair, put on shoes we will be walking. . ." The Lady insists on wearing a nightgown with shorts. The Little Lady puts on a peasant skirt with a pair of leggings underneath, a t-shirt and a headband that she keeps at the very front of her head. They both wear flip-flops, nobody brushes their hair, however they do brush teeth.

9:21 a.m.: I check the app, the Trolley will be at the stop in 23 minutes. We can totally make it.

9:25 a.m.: We are in the garage, I grab the umbrella stroller because QT has a tendency to run. The Little Lady insists on riding her scooter. She grabs her helmet and we are off. We make it about a half a block before the Little Lady gives up on the scooter. I am visibly annoyed. I throw the Barbie scooter over the handles of the stroller and loop the helmet around them too. The Little Lady tries to keep up but is insisting that we are leaving her too far behind, the Lady and her long legs are about 10 feet in front of me.

We finally round the corner towards the Dunkies. I have already explained to them that we will be stopping on the way back because we have to catch the Trolley, although I am in serious need of some caffeine.

QT jumps out of the stroller, throws a mini basketball that he was carrying into the road. I stop everyone at the corner, get the ball and check the time. It is 9:50, we are not making it. Dunkies is in sight and I tell the kids that we will go there first. QT starts to squirm, he starts itching his whole body. He is covered in ants.

I am now standing on a street corner with three kids, a stroller covered in ants because it had been lying on the floor in the garage and there was some leftover granola bar in the seat from the kids' trip to the zoo earlier in the week. QT rode for a full 10-15 minutes sitting in that ant-infested stroller. I start picking ants off his feet, the back of his neck. I give him a full body check. I am grossed out. It is hot, I need coffee. We limp into the Dunkies parking lot. I pull the stroller up along side of the building and send the Ladies in for napkins.

(The problem with being a regular at places is that you just can't anonymously wipe scores of ants off a stroller on the side of a building in private. No, the owner of the establishment has to come over and offer to watch the stroller for you so that you can go inside, and you have to tell him that "something spilled" on it and you are just going to leave it outside, but thanks so much!)

10:05 a.m.: Stroller de-antified. Everyone is sitting down enjoying a donut and I have some coffee.

10:15 a.m.: I check the mobile app. We have 13 minutes to cross four streets. We head out.

We cross one street, we cross the next. We cross the third street. The Trolley stop is on the next block. All we have to do is cross over and make a left. We arrive at the corner. The Trolley arrives at the light directly across from us. I make some gesticulations with my hands trying to get the conductors attention. Did I mention this is the longest light in Stamford? We wait for the walk sign in the crossroad. The Trolley turns, we book it across the street. I yell for the Ladies to run ahead, the Trolley stops, the Lady is running in her flip flops and nightgown, her long unbrushed hair flapping in the wind. The Little Lady is close behind her, her ankle-length skirt billowing in the breeze. I am following behind with QT in the (hopefully) ant-free stroller, the Barbie scooter on top with the Dora the Explorer helmet banging against my fingers, the Trolley doors open then close and he drives away without us. I make a half-assed attempt at following him on foot. We will never catch up.

We take refuge on a bench at a bus stop.

10:28 a.m.: I call my mom.

10:31 a.m.: QT has to go to the bathroom. Luckily the mall is not far, in fact we are pretty much at the exact spot one of my early blog posts took place and I know the Barnes and Noble bathroom pretty well at this point. We soldier on. Both Ladies are complaining about their feet hurting from the flip flops. We make it to B&N. On a positive, there is one of the benches from the Art Around Town exhibit right outside of the mall. It is painted with birds though, so obviously it isn't my favorite. We sit on that for a few minutes because the Trolley isn't coming back for another 15 minutes and then make our way to the Trolley stop.

11:00 a.m.: The Trolley arrives. The doors open, we stumble in. It it cool and clean and wonderful. Everyone takes their own seat.

We start off in the opposite direction of where the car is. After about 13 minutes aboard the Trolley, we finally get to our stop downtown. We unload. QT insists on riding the scooter, the Little Lady would like to be in the stroller, the Lady runs into one of her classmates on the street. We only have to cross two more streets. I can see the awning of VW up ahead. I convince QT to give up on the scooter.

11:22 a.m.: I park the stroller outside the entrance, I send the kids in through the front door and point them to the waiting area. They each take a seat in a large, black leather chair. I give some guy my name, he tells me everything is ready and he will bring the van around. At that point, I like to imagine what it looked like from the inside of VW as the four of us arrived, as we crossed over the parking lot and into that front door, a little sweaty, an empty stroller with a scooter on top, three kids dragging their flip-flopped feet. I wonder did they have any idea of what it took for us to get there?

I will say they had some pretty good customer service though. The kids all got some water and another guy came by with a candy bowl. Of course they can have double bubble gum and gummy worms, it just took us two hours to get here. The guy who went to get the van came back and said that there was a car blocking it and it would just be another minute. Take your time guy, wherever we are going next, we are driving there and it can't possibly take as long as this excursion did.

Then, there she was in all her glory, Minnie-Ru.

11:37 a.m.: The kids scrambled in the van, I threw the scooter and the stroller in the trunk, took the last sip from the dregs of my coffee, blasted the ac, got in and drove home.

In retrospect, I realize that I probably could have just put QT and the Little Lady in the double stroller and power-walked the 1.2 miles to the dealership with the Lady in sneakers, perhaps switching out with her sister or brother for a spell, but the double stroller was in the top of the garage and on Saturday, it just wasn't our journey to take.