Hot Yoga/Hot Mess

Last night I went to my Bikram yoga class.

There is always this sort of dread before walking in the door, coupled with an excitement and energy.

I want to go, its just that it is an hour and a half class and it is hot.

The Thursday night class starts at 6, which is easier to get to without added anxiety of running late. And you want to get there on time because the class fills up and you need to find a good spot.

Last night my girlfriend/coworker (the only reason I can tolerate work) and I got there a good twenty minutes before class started.

It was nice to just lay there quietly and get acclimated to the heat before the class.


About ten minutes before the class started the instructor came in to say that there was a red SUV parked in front of the building with the hatch open. It took me a moment to realize that it was my friend's car. It also took her a moment too, considering that she rocks a mini-van, but I love that she was given the benefit of the doubt.

I am not sure if you can gather this from anything you have read on this blog, but I can sometimes be too much in my own head.

It is hard to focus and be present when are thinking about how odd it is that sweat is beading on the top of your feet, that you have a muffin top that even the all-black ensemble isn't hiding and that your face that is so red it looks like you came straight from a chemical peel and that your hair is so crazy that it needs to be pinned back with two of the Lady's barrettes.

It is hard not to notice that my upper arms really seem disproportional to the rest of my upper body and that maybe instead of focusing on everything I want to change, I should just concentrate and breathe.

The instructor told us last night that the intent of the class is to leave feeling different than when you walked in the door. I did feel that. I felt like I was able to hold a few more poses, that I figured out one of the positions and that if you focus on a point just past your body in the mirror you aren't confronted with your own hot mess. I left feeling stronger and more energized.

She also said that she raised the temperature by one degree in the room. I know you don't think one degree would make a difference but by the sweat dripping down my body, I am here to tell you it does.

So, I left there soaked in my own sweat, desperate to shed my winter coat when I got in the car, only to have all the sweat dry about halfway home and realize that I was freezing and the heating in my car is crap.

I also ended the class much more centered than I started. Soon, those thoughts got pushed aside and I was able to "enjoy" the experience. Clearly, I have to put enjoy in quotes because as much as I want to be there, I am always pretty excited for the end when the lights go out and it is just me flat on my back.

I am trying to get to classes on the weekends. I think the more I go the better. I have put out my clothes for the last two weekends with the intent of getting up and going to yoga.

It hasn't happened.

Hoping that tomorrow morning will be my day.

I Have to Post Something!

Well we have come to this. . . 

"Here's the thing we started out friends, it was good. . . "

Ok, ok it isn't quite so desperate as resorting to posting Kelly Clarkson lyrics, but I will tell you with all honesty not much happened today.

I did start my morning off naked and covered in a paper gown (and had no problem making it to that appointment on time). That was just a routine check at the dermatologist that was done so quickly and efficiently that I made it to work way earlier than I told them I would get there. 

That was followed by a lot of me thinking about writing something and then realizing that once you cross into that desperate phase of unimaginable boredom where you have exhausted the Internet and are just hoping for some sort of polar vortex/panda watch-sized news story to break that there is no creativity to be had.

Even the cops going to Bieber's house didn't help.

I ended my afternoon by sweating on strangers at hot yoga.

Namaste.

I forgot how hot it was and how badly it smells in there.

However, I was able to do a few poses more easily now that my boobs are smaller and I am so glad that I made it back.

Little victories. Until tomorrow. . . 

"It was good, but it was all pretend, yeah, yeah, since u been gone"