The Things we Do for Our Kids: Or Is that a Bathing Suit or a Dress from Forever 21?

I went to a shower a couple of weeks ago for my cousin's fiancee. It was in Massachusetts, about two hours from my house. (It was a lovely shower and I am super psyched for the wedding and very grateful my in-laws are taking the kids!)

My husband happened to be out of town that week and all my moms sisters were going to be there so a plan was hatched to have a girls weekend with my sisters, my mom and my aunts, the Ladies and the Wild Woman (the Wild Man stayed home with his dad) and of course, QT.

This involved getting all of my kids ready and in Minnie-Ru for an 8 a.m. departure time. We threw the extra captain's chair in and my sister and the Wild Woman (who serenaded us with songs in a singing voice that rivals mine in lack of tone) rode along with us.

Next stop: College.

We rolled up on Springfield College around 10 a.m. and unloaded four kids, four bags, and four strollers with my little sister and three of her friends. 

I must say I was pretty impressed with my sister and her friends, it was a super nice day and they clearly could have been drinking beers and hanging out on the field in front of their place, but instead they were helping us out.

Two things I miss the most about college are napping and just hanging out with my friends on a nice day. One thing I don't miss? How gross the toilets are in co-ed townhouses, where the boys are not taking their cleaning at all seriously.

The Wild Woman and the Little Lady enjoying college

Anyway, after the shower we had to go pick up the kids and bring them back to the hotel. There was a pool there, but in my rush to get everything organized, I didn't pack my "all-black mom bathing suit with skirt" to not only cover my fat ass but to eliminate the need for shaving. I also didn't pack a suit for the Ladies because all of their summer stuff is in some Rubbermaid bucket in the attic of our garage. Luckily, the Wild Woman is a swimmer and her mom had packed two suits so at least the Little Lady was covered.

So my mom and my aunt ran to Marshall's to pick up a suit for the Lady and me. My only requirement was something with a skirt. (Clearly, I didn't bring a razor.)

This is the photo of the suit I got.

Now, mind you, I quickly looked at this photo on my phone and thought "looks like a halter, the ruching might help my tummy" and then agreed to wear it.

So we got to the hotel and the only thing any of the girls want to do was go swimming.

I must say that the difference between the photo and the physical reality of the bathing suit that I was holding in my hands was quite large.

You know what wasn't large? The surface area to cover my boobs. I know, looking at the pic you would think "well that top looks like it has ample space to house, post-pregnancy, still breastfeeding (on one side) breasts," but I assure you it was not.

I didn't realize that the neckline was so J-Lo-in-that-green-dress plunging. I didn't realize that I would look like I was trying to squeeze into some hoochie-mama's prom dress that she picked up at Forever 21.

So there wasn't enough fabric to cover my boobs, but there was plenty of fabric to cover everywhere else. It was hoochie-mama on top, woman in the late 1800s/Hasidic Jewish woman on the bottom.

The skirt on this thing was long enough that had I not shaved my legs, it wouldn't have mattered. I started to think that if I just flipped the skirt and tucked it into my cleavage, I might have the makings of a practical bathing suit.

So here I was, in an ill fitting bathing suit, on constant vigil for a nip slip, in a hotel pool in the middle of Massachusetts, and despite the initial wave of crushing embarrassment and low self esteem, none of that really mattered.

The Ladies were having a great time in the pool. They were jumping and playing and trying to swim, and they were just so excited to be in the water and to have me with them. After a few minutes the fear of exposing everyone subsided and I too, was able to enjoy it.

I would also like to think that I did a little public service that day. I am hoping that the sight of me, with my mom mammaries on full view, prompted the high school couple in the deep end who were deep mouth kissing and grinding to throw on an extra condom when they made their way up to their room as to prevent any unwanted teen pregnancies.

Blog A Day 'Til Baby (BADTB) Post 9: Staying Cool at the Pool

We had a busy day today. Started out early at the acupuncturist--have I mentioned I love this woman? I left there with some ear tags that are supposed to stimulate the uterus and the Ladies left with stickers. I thought it was a pretty good start to our day.

We hit up a Moms Club meeting/playdate and then stopped home to pick up our bathing suits and headed down to hang with the Wild Ones.

To say that setting up a backyard pool and allowing any of these children access to a garden hose is not the best idea in the world is an understatement. There was a lot of mud and splashing, but they had a great time and kept cool.

The Little Lady and the Wild Woman

The Lady. The Wild Woman was busy blowing bubbles (that is her little butt in the blue and white suit at the bottom) and the Wild Man wasn't too sure about the temp of the pool.

We ended the day with four relatively well behaved children at a restaurant with my sister and my parents, my hubby threw them in the tub when we got home and they are now quiet in their beds.

I am planning the rest of my weekend with no expectations that this baby will show up. We will see.

Dear Disney: Day 3

Dear Disney,

We didn't hit the parks today. We only have a specific number of days at the parks and I am actually totally tired.

The Lady went to bed last night at 6:45 and didn't wake up until after 7. The pool called us and although we yet again had to dodge some raindrops it turned out to be a good day.

The Lady ate a giant cupcake.

The Little Lady got some quality pool time.

I was able to get to the gym and shave my legs.

We swam.

We hit Fort Wilderness for dinner. Their chicken was good. Their ice-cream wasn't so great.

My father-in-law got bit by a horse at the petting zoo, which we visited in pitch darkness.

We saw a light show on the lake while we cruised back to our place on a boat.

The Lady fell asleep in my husband's lap, the Little Lady did not.

I am three beers in and blogging.

Thanks for a good day Disney. Thanks for a good day.

love and kisses and beers and beers and beers.

Bean