Thursday, November 18, 2010

What You've Missed

It's been a while and I am sorry. Here is a recap of the highs and the lows you have missed in the life of the Three Bean Salad.

I ran into the neighbor's garbage can (again) with my car. To be fair, 1. at least it wasn't their car and 2. it is left entirely too close to the common area of the driveway where I need to turn around.

The Little Lady has continued her love for all things bathroom related and has pooped on the potty by herself twice in the last couple of weeks. Her sister has been ignoring her body's signs to go to the bathroom and instead is just going through 5-15 pairs of "big girl undies" a day because she can't be bothered to get up and use the bathroom. In a exceptionally brilliant show of sheer determination and with a keen "fuck you mom" attitude, the Lady told me she didn't have to go to the bathroom, in what might have been a very weak moment in my three plus years of motherhood, I physically lifted her up on to the toilet and tried to keep her there. The Lady wanted none of this and as I tried to remove her little sister from the area, she told me that she didn't want to go on the potty and was going to go "right here." Right here meaning, right next to the toilet on the rug.

I went to the Lady's parent/teacher conference, where I had to sit in one of their chairs. It is true, they have no adult size chairs in the room. Even the teachers have to sit on those tiny little plastic chairs made for the small bottoms of 2-4 year old kids. Anyway, the teachers said that the Lady was great, good with her classmates, good with listening and that she never gave them a hard time. I demanded video proof. I am, however, very proud of her and this week they will be starting to use scissors.

I have cried every single time I have seen one of those commercials where the parents surprise their kids with a trip to Disney World.

I have started coaching a "Lil' Laxers" program for 2-5 year-olds on Wednesday afternoons. The Lady is not taking this class, instead, I am surrounded by all boys, who spit and swing sticks and are constantly drifting off into some never-never land of inattentiveness and coughing relentlessly without covering their mouths.

I was the mystery reader at the Lady's school. I showed up with some books, they all closed their eyes, and I "surprised" them. The Lady was very excited. In order to make sure I was on time. I sat in the parking lot for about 15 minutes where I was horrified to find a chin hair while I was looking in the mirror. It is bad enough with the adult acne, but I think facial hair is a bit much don't you? How much more can one woman bear? Now, at this school everyone drives a black Tahoe and wears either their workout clothes or super cute flats to pick up their kids, so I am a little self-conscious about how I look. Imagine my horror, when I realized that this wasn't even a tiny hair, but one that looked long enough to curl. I am clearly not paying enough attention to myself. Luckily, I was able to pull it free. When we left school, we stopped at the nail place to get a quick eyebrow wax. . .

. . .at lunch, after the "mystery reading" and the salon the Lady and I met my husband. When he arrived she quickly announced to him and the rest of the line at Panera that "mom got her eyes done!"

The Little Lady has become very interested in TV. She vocalizes her displeasure if you turn off whatever is on or if you turn the channel from something kid related to something more adult. Since, she is the first one up in the morning, my husband and I have been taking her into bed for some one-on-one snuggle time. She is super cute and it is nice to spend some solo time with her. However, some mornings we snuggle on the couch, where she climbs over me to find the remote and insists on pressing the buttons in an attempt to find "Melmo."

I ran out of laundry detergent, paper towels, dishwasher detergent and Clorox wipes on the same day. This of course meant a trip to Target with the Ladies, where we were able to get all of the above, but also came home with Princess gummy vitamins, Princess band-aids, Princess toothpaste and spent about 15 minutes "browsing" the toy aisles for things to add to the Christmas list.

The Little Lady is down to one nap a day and she only naps for maybe an hour. An hour. Ugh.

The Money-Saving-Mom sent her husband to the brand new grocery store in town, where a gallon of milk is only $1.99. He came home with 4 gallons of organic milk at $5.29 a pop.

The Christmas cards have been delivered. After making 6 different versions, I decided on one and by using a combination of coupon codes and giveaways, I was able to save over a hundred dollars on the cards, two photo books and shipping. Now I just have to address the envelopes and buy the postage. I am hoping these go out before December 15th.

The countdown begins for my husband to head to Cali for two weeks. 15 more days before he leaves. I have a feeling there will be a lot of late night blog posts and peanut M&M binges as I try to navigate those days on my own.

Missed you guys. Thanks for reading.



  1. This makes me feel like I'm talking to you and makes me miss you more than I already do!

  2. Young Skywalker has been peeing on the floor alot lately. Not talking about the bathroom floor either. On a related note, the number of bare-ass spankings in our house has gone up considerably as well.

  3. Netters, miss you much! Steadman, tell Young Skywalker as long as he isn't pooping in purses like his cousin the Wild Man that things are going a-ok.