She's Crafty?

I have a history of being crafty. Not conniving and shrewd, but actually crafty. You know, homemade cards and scrapbooks. I recently had a closet full of craft stuff that had been laying idle for a few years that I finally sorted through and donated.

I kept the few things that I thought I could use and that I thought I could use with the Lady. She of course, has found the craft closet and raided it many times in the past. And, since our art class was cancelled yesterday, and we were trapped in the house that I would have done something interactive and artsy with them. Not so much.

I was just reading over some e-mails and updates from my Moms groups about what they were doing with their kids yesterday. These women were craftaholics yesterday. Granted, the Lady did some coloring, but we didn't even think about making Valentines or snowmen out of cotton balls, or making up our own board games or any one of the various things these art-inspired moms were doing with their kids, while I watched an NCIS marathon and the Lady ran around in her diaper coloring on her stomach with permanent markers. What happened to my motivation?

Now, I know that if I whipped out the scissors the Lady would make a beeline towards them. I also know that anything involving glue could turn disastrous and in a moment of clarity a few weeks ago, I threw away all the glitter we have in the house. But, I still can't help but feeling like a delinquent mom. I have the time, the supplies and the ideas to make some great crafts with her, but I think I am lacking a bit of the drive.

Tonight, I vow, with my glue gun poised and ready to go, we will turn off NickJr, lay the newspaper down and get crafty.

The Original Mom's Club

I was so grateful that I was able to meet up with 5 of my college roommates last weekend at LBI. That's right--Jersey baby, Jersey.

This is the 4th year that we have been able to pick a weekend (this process usually starts sometime in January, when we are all in a desperate state to get out of the house), convince our husbands that they can and should stay home with the kid or kids for the entire weekend, while we go to the beach, out to dinner and spend countless hours trying to cram in as much gossip magazine reading as we can. It is never nearly as much time as we need.

We have been lucky that between the births of babies we are still able to step away and decompress with each other. Unlike the online mom's group that I am a part of, or the smaller club that I am hoping to become more active in in the upcoming months. I don't feel judged, or anxious about having to forge a bond with these women, because they are the ones who have already seen me through the carbohydrate-fueled college days, the early years after college when nobody knew what they were doing (oh wait, that was just me), marriage and all the craziness that follows that decision and were there for me, when I finally joined the ranks of the mommyhood. They were and remain my ultimate mom's club.

I will say that since we all have kids, and all of us at this point a toddler or two, a lot of conversation revolved around them. When we did tire of the time-out talk, we moved onto our poor husbands at home, and the balance we hoped they were all striking, the sheer amount of attention given to the whole Jon and Kate + 8 drama, as well as anything that we found of interest in any one of the varying People, US Weekly, or Star Magazines.

We also did find a bit of time to talk about a few other things, which is nice because in about a month we are all getting together again, but this time with all the husbands and kids in tow. When we finally reach that weekend, it is good to know that between all the meal prep, swimming pool time and running around after the kids, that we already had a weekend, just the six of us where were able to catch up about each other because clearly we will have no time to sit down and just chat.

I am lucky that I have a group to lean on, to ask questions of and who know me well enough to give me an honest answer. Now, if we could all move onto the same block or next year stretch the weekend into a week. . .

The Mom's Club

I just want everyone to know that I stepped out of the comfort zone and tried again to meet new moms. On Monday the Lady and I went to a meet and greet for new members of the Mom's Group. The Lady and I and one other mom were the only new members who showed up, but I did meet three other moms and they were all nice to me. The kids played pretty well together, except the Lady tried to push a girl for the dog toy but she loves dogs and that other girl was being a tiny bit selfish--I mean just because they were here toys doesn't mean she can't share with the Lady.

On Tuesday, I joined one of the mom's I met for a playdate at her house. It went pretty well and I did feel welcome. It was kind of intimidating because I was the only one there who didn't know somebody else and I was also the only one there who wasn't from the UK or Ireland or married to someone from the UK or Ireland. It was an interesting dynamic, but let me tell you those women were much more welcoming to me then the ones I met at the other playgroup. I think the Lady and I will try to make it there again next week. I will admit to her running around the kitchen and covering herself with the chalk she found on the easel but all and all she was pretty good.

Today we had a playdate with my best friend, her twins and another friend of ours and her daughter. It is so much more relaxing when you are surrounded by people you know. I think that I am making the right decision for me and for the Lady to get out and meet new people, but there is nothing like hanging out with people you know, love and trust and who know and love you and your kids.

I am still navigating the whole world of being a stay-at-home-mom or SAHM as it is so frequently seen across the web (and yes, I will admit it took me a while to figure out what it stood for!) and I will admit to freaking out last week when I saw all these posts about signing your kids up for a 2's group in the fall. I had no idea that I was supposed to sign my kid up for a 2's group and now apparently they are all booked and my poor daughter will never get the early education she is so surly lacking. . . and to think I am going to do this all over again come August. Yikes.

Baby Steps

The Lady and I have plans for a pretty busy week. Yesterday we had a play date with a friend of mine from High School, who I reconnected with via. . . you guessed it. . . Facebook. Ahh the power of that website never ceases to amaze me. We had a really good time and the Lady got along well with her new friend, who was super cute and tried to sit on the Lady's lap, which was very funny.

I had high hopes going into today. I RSVP'd to a Mom's Group Evite for playtime at Kids U. I wasn't really sure how it worked, but I knew for $5 the Lady would be able to play for up to two hours and I was hoping to meet some of the women in the group. I was at least hoping to meet the main mom organizer and introduce myself. High hopes indeed. We got there took off our shoes and the Lady was off. We smiled meekly at some other moms, we said excuse me when we got in the way, we had a brief exchange with one mom but that was all. No introductions, no real small talk and not even one "How old is she?" I saw two other moms introduce themselves and chat for almost the whole time, while the Lady and I dodged their kids and literally stepped into the middle of their conversation. Oh well. Next time I am going to take a little risk and try to talk to one mom. We will see how it goes. I am also going to try to go to the 0-2 play date next week, which is at someones house. I figure they have to talk to me there, right?

I am thinking of practicing "approachable" looks in the mirror. Maybe I come off aloof or uninterested, maybe my smile is insincere, maybe the pimple on my face is too grotesque to look at, or maybe they are put off by the cuteness factor of the Lady and are so stunned by such an adorable face they are scared to talk to us. Or maybe they are put off by the fact that the Lady is covered in cuts on her face after a manicure mishap and a header into the driveway. So what if her nose and upper lip are a bit chaffed the girl just wants to play and I just want to talk to one other adult during the day.

Tomorrow is story time at Barnes and Noble. We will soldier on.

Yesterday I tried to get out of the house and enjoy the really beautiful weather we have been having here. The Lady and I made the Dunkies run then continued to Barnes and Noble for story time.

I am still waiting for the welcome package to arrive in the mail for my mom's group, so in the meantime I am trying to take advantage of some other options. We arrived a few minutes late to a reading of Llama, Llama, Mad at Mama, a very cute book but not really dynamic enough to hold the attention of the seven or so kids under age two. At first I kept the Lady in the stroller but she soon made herself known and I let her out. We sat on the very little bench and listened to the woman drone on about the llama. That was going pretty well until she saw the photo of the llama and made a loud raspberry sound. This is the sound she makes when you ask her "What does an elephant say?" She has now adapted it to any large zoo or wild animals. She has another sound that she uses especially for domestic animals and seagulls.

Now, I don't get bent out of shape about these things. She was interacting with the story and she made a sound she makes about fourteen times a day. What I do get bent out of shape about is how utterly humorless some of these other mothers are. I understand that nobody wants their kid to be that kid, but all the children were walking around and exploring their environment. I don't care if your kid touches mine or if, like the Lady, they try to climb up on the stage area where the kindly (and clueless) Barnes and Noble woman is reading and touch the book. Yes, I stopped her when she tried to touch another kid in the eye, but she is learning her body parts and gets excited when she sees other kids.

I mean, I know that I am not the most outgoing person when it comes to meeting people and I don't really do well with small talk and initiating conversation, but aren't we all there for the same purpose and aren't we all basically going through the same thing? Most of these kids were around the same age and that common element should be enough to at least warrant a smile out of these ladies when the Lady made the elephant sound. I mean had it not been my kid I would have thought it was funny. When did we all get so uptight about the way a one year old reacts to a story? The only people talking to each other were the nannies and that was because they knew each other and came together.

I love the Lady and I don't want her tackling smaller children in a bookstore or poking them in the eye, but I can't and I won't hold her back from exploring the things around her, even if other moms turn to me with a stone face and the stink eye.

I mean last week alone the Lady pulled all the tp off the roll, peed (twice) in the thirty seconds she was diaperless, opened a drawer and pulled out all of my colorful placemats, tried to put her pj's in the diaper genie, pantsed me twice (another reason to wear pants that button) while I was making dinner, and screamed her way through a car trip because she didn't want her shoes on. I know these things happen to other mothers, why as women can't we just have a sense of humor about it? I mean one day my kid might run naked outside wearing just snow boots, or pick their nose in public and wipe it on my face, these things happen. We should embrace the commonality of our experiences instead of trying to save face and make it seem like we have it all under control. Because, please, if you can show me one mom who hasn't had a kid melt down in public, or cry, kick and scream as you try to peel them off the playground equipment, I will post a photo of me Biggest Loser style in just my sports bra and a pair of bicycle pants.

The Mom's Group

I went out on Friday night. We went to a surprise b-day party for the wild man's dad. It was nice to actually leave the house with only one bag and a little mascara on.

I met a girl there who is active in a Mom's Group in the area. Now, I am not looking for a new best friend and I have my own built in mom's group between my cousins, my sister and my five girlfriends. I don't feel like I need to make new friends, and frankly I don't feel like I have the time, but it might be nice for the Lady to be introduced to some new people.

I e-mailed the contact in my Chapter and am waiting to hear back. For $30 a year you can go out and get involved in mommy things like play dates and cooking classes. They even have a dinner night for when the hubby is out of town. Since my husband travels fairly often (one more night and he is back) it at least gives me some options. I am worried about being stuck in the house in the middle of winter with just the Lady. I think I am starting to bore her. Plus, it would be nice to get some info on what I can do in the area considering I don't know anybody here except people who are related to me.

The thing is, I hate meeting people. I hate talking to people I don't know. I don't enjoy calling anyone or taking any sort of initiative. I don't want to be one of those moms with a effing business card that says "The Lady's Mom" on it followed by my name, telephone number and e-mail, but I would like someone to walk with at the park or to meet at the playground. I guess I have to get over my own insecurities and realize that this will probably be good for both the Lady and me.

I just hope it doesn't turn into some weird cult like scenario, where I am going to play dates and Mommy's Night Out and just talking about snotty noses, how often the Lady poops and how I am going to get her prepped for pre-school. I am afraid of a mommy sorority, chock full of creepy initiation rights but without the alcohol abuse, GHB and the long, long, walk of shame.

I am also afraid that if I don't put myself out there that the Lady will miss out. She deserves to have opportunities opened to her and she deserves me to be standing by her side showing her that trying new things is a risk that often reaps the most rewards.

I will let you know how it goes.