Dear FaceTime, Please Filter Me

Dear FaceTime,

I want to start off by thanking you for how easy you are to use. Since my hubby has started traveling again we have been able to use you to help the kids keep in touch.

The Ladies are considered pretty adept at iPad usage and can now FaceTime with ease. Both Ladies have FaceTimed me at the office to tell me about their school day and they are often asking about when they can use you again. QT gets so excited when he sees his dad's face on the screen that he can't keep his hands off the thing. He just points to the screen and repeats "dada" over and over again. Sometimes he hangs up on him, but mostly he just puts his little face on that filthy screen and gives him big, big kisses.

It is incredibly heartwarming and has made the sometimes difficult aspects of my husband traveling easier on both him and the kids.

Can I just ask one thing of you FaceTime?

Would it be at all possible to put some sort of filter on the screen? I mean Instagram does it to phenomenal success.

When my face pops up on that screen, I want to look away, but I cannot. I am so transfixed on how I appear on that screen that I find myself moving it in minute detail to get the best angle. It is bad enough that I look tired, a bit worn and worried in my everyday life, do you have to magnify it?

Look, I get it, we aren't using super high tech cameras here, and I realize that the one person who I am FaceTiming the most with is the one person who has seen me at my very worst. This man has seen me birth human beings, and I know that wasn't too pretty, but would it kill you to just add some sort of layering device? Perhaps something subtle, something that just takes out a few of the wrinkles, makes my skin tone look somewhat even, gives me hope that this guy might actually want to get back on the plane home to see me.

I guess I could try makeup or maybe brushing my hair, but at this point I think that I would prefer my image to be projected in one of those "photo booth" options that makes me look like a circus sideshow act rather then what you are offering now.

"Kaleidoscope" effect from the photo booth app.

Let me know. I would be more than willing to test out any new filters as my husband will be out of town again soon.

Yours wearied and wrinkled,

Bean