Tuesday, August 31, 2010

School Daze

The Lady starts nursery school in a couple of weeks.

We have already met up with one of our school buddies for a pre-first day of school playdate, so that there will be a familiar face in the classroom for her. We will be meeting up for a playground playdate next week with other members from the am 3's class, then I will be attending the parent orientation that evening and the Lady will attend her orientation for an hour the day before the first day of school.


This seems like a lot of prep work for nursery school. But in all honesty, I am actually grateful for it. I know how much anxiety I can feel when going into a new situation, so it is a good thing that the Lady will be given the opportunity to meet the kids in her class, tour the classroom and get a feel for where she will be. Actually, I think the prep work might actually be better for me. I am sure the Lady will adjust fine, but now I have to meet all these teachers, parents and kids. And, I have to leave my little girl (granted only for a few hours, three days a week) but I have to leave her and I want to be sure that I know who she will be with and what she will be doing.

I anticipate tears in the parking lot as I pull out the first day. Mine, not hers.

The nursery school sent us a packet of papers to fill out. The standard emergency contact forms and school calendar were included, but there is also a form called "Tell Us About Your Child." I skimmed over the questions:

Does your child have any allergies? Does your child have a hand preference? Then I get down to the question: How would you describe your child's disposition on a daily basis; i.e., cheerful, moody, quiet, aggressive, shy? They only left one line to answer this question.

My first thought was to point them here to my blog. There they could see how her disposition changes by the hour. Moody? Yup. Cheerful? Uh-huh. Aggressive? The Little Lady could give you an example or two.

My second thought was just to write one word: Yes. Or maybe Drama or Actress, because she certainly is capable of commanding an audience, but then I remembered that she asked me the other day "What does Dramas mean?" and I thought better of it. Perhaps, I have been using that word a bit too much. Humm. . .maybe I should just put Diva? Or maybe I can put a thousand other words to describe my sweet, caring, princess- loving, singing, dancing, screaming, moody, cheerful, quiet, aggressive, shy, creative, artistic and totally delicious little girl.

How in one line am I to describe this person who has been virtually attached to me for three years? I know her better than anyone else. I know everything that she is talking about. I have heard her have a conversation with my husband about something and I have to call into the other room that she is talking about a billboard we saw on the drive home from the park, or something she saw at the bookstore. We are a team, we have our own jargon and shorthand that is specific to our lives and our adventures.

I am not sure how I am going to feel when she comes home from school with new stories and new experiences about things she has done and people she has played with that I am not a part of.

Obviously, this is a part of growing up. Her independence is an important part of who she will eventually become, and as her mother I want to nurture that and not hold her back. I know how great she will do at school and how much fun she will have. I want her to experience that on her own more than I want to experience everything with her, but still. . . maybe I will just skip ahead and fill out the question about How do you generally handle discipline at home? This question has three lines following it and i think I can fit the answer: a combination of timeouts (even though she usually just gets up and walks away), bribing, threatening, ignoring, yelling and trying everything I can to distract her without losing my self-respect.

Maybe this nursery school thing is something we both need. I think we are prepped and ready to go.

Some Disney Pics

The Lady and her favorite Sleeping Beauty

The Little Lady learned how to climb into the stroller and turn off the lights.

The Lady

The Ladies with Mickey. If you look at the table behind us you will see Brendan Fraiser on the left. If you look at the table in front of the Ladies you will see peaches and Mickey waffles.

Seriously Lady, not one smile for Sleeping Beauty? how about looking at the camera? Help your momma out.

The Lady and her Ariel doll. Now we smile!!

Belle and the Ladies. At least Belle kept her composure. I am not sure what they pay these girls, but it can't be enough!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Happy Birthday to My Husband!

The Ladies and I love you. Have a great day!

The Lady is hiding behind the sign because she isn't wearing any clothes. The Little Lady was busy reading and refused to pose!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Overheard. . .

The Lady: Dad?

Dad: Yeah?

The Lady: Do you wanna hear me sing the blues?

Dad: Ok.

The Lady (into a hot pink bendy straw): Blues, blues, blues, blues, bluuuuuuues!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

He Said/She Said: The Chauffeur

We packed up the car last Saturday, and headed up to my sister-in-law's for my nephew's birthday party. The ride takes almost an hour, so we strapped in the Ladies, threw on the DVD player (the Lady has switched allegiances from Wubbzy to Barbie--it is a totally different sort of hell), and started to drive.

I settled in at shotgun and opened my latest issue of Women's Health magazine. My husband chortled (in what I perceived to be a very condescending way) and told me that I should write a blog post on the fact that when we get into the car and I open a magazine that he becomes my chauffeur.

Well sweetheart, here is your chance to tell your side of the story. Even though this post is titled He Said/She Said, I am going first, because 1. it is my blog and 2. I want to.

She Said:

A lot of people can't read in the car. I can. A lot of people have free time during their day to sit back and leisurely flip through the pages of their favorite magazine. I don't.

Gone are the days where I can sit peacefully on the beach and digest my US Weekly, followed by a Life&Style, finished off by Star Magazine. All the while, studying the minute differences in the same exact photos published by each mag and living vicariously through the starlets as they romp in St. Tropez and drink coffee while picking up their dry cleaning. Oh Stars--you are just like US!

Now I take my free time when I can get it. The car rides, where you drive, are ideal for stealing away a bit of time for myself. The Ladies are strapped in and safe and I can focus on just the words in front of me.

The car rides, where you drive, are also occasionally, more frightening than I care to admit. To say you are an aggressive driver is putting it mildly. Although, I trust you to get us to our destination safely, I would prefer to bury my head in a magazine and not watch as you weave your way through traffic, curse out other drivers (I dare say my readers have NOT forgotten "fuck you doing?"), and focus more on what another driver is doing three lanes over and five cars ahead of us, then the car, breaking, in front of us.

I will admit that my US Weekly sometimes adds to your distracted driving, when I catch you looking at the photos as I flip the pages, however, this isn't a big enough deal to keep me from reading it while you drive.

I am just trying to take advantage of a little bit of downtime during the drive. Is that so wrong?

love and kisses,

Miss Daisy

He said:

I am not nearly as gifted a writer as my better half, but since I asked for this, here goes...

I have given my wife a hard time in the past about her penchant for reading a magazine when we go on a “long” car ride…and when I say long, that pretty much means anything over 15 minutes. She might as well say, “to the beach house Wadsworth” and close the Plexiglas divider between the two of us.

This used to be not such a big deal, but the Lady has taken to watching her portable DVD player on any such car ride. And, she takes after her father when it comes to the volume at which she watches TV and reciting the lines from all her movies. So, it’s useless to put on the radio. I basically drive the car and point out the inadequacies of the other drivers on the road. I’m there to provide my family with transportation to and from whatever our final destination may be. I feel like, once we arrive, I should stay with the car and make sure it is washed and waxed. Of course that’s after I carry all the bags (or what not) into our destination. This really isn’t a big deal; I’m more than happy to provide my family with a quick and safe ride…although my wife may disagree about the safe part. I will fully admit that on the rare occasion that my wife does drive, I’d spend the entire ride wondering why she went a certain way or how she could possibly get stuck behind a guy going 50 MPH in the left lane. But the other day; we were having a conversation for the first 5 minutes of our ride, and then all of a sudden I look over and she’s reading a magazine. Apparently, I didn’t understand that the conversation was over. I was boring the crap out of her with my inane dialogue and she had to turn to the pages of Women’s Health to save herself.

It’s sad to say, but I wish I could more consistently provide her reason for the ear to ear smile she has when on Thursday evening, after packing up the car and kids for a jaunt to New London, she returns from the mailbox with her US Magazine. I then know that she will enjoy her ride and have plenty to talk about with the other clan members once we reach Park Street. And should the fine workers from our government mail service not deliver that tabloid fodder, watch out, hell hath no fury like a woman denied her celebrity gossip.

I know my wife does more that I can possibly imagine, and I should not begrudge her this little luxury. I know that I am not the most gifted conversationalist, but next time give me a heads up that its time for a little magazine break. I’ll gladly go back to critiquing the poor driving around me or listening to the Lady signing along with Beyonce or Barbie.

Your faithful servant - Hoak

She (obviously) has one more thing to say:

I want to point out that the conversation we were having was about Avatar, a movie he had watched the night before and I hadn't seen. Riveting.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Back to Reality

There is always a day or two of adjustment when you return from vacation. Even if it is just a quick trip to the beach house, there is always one bag still waiting to be emptied or a travel bottle or two of shampoo sitting on the bathroom counter.

I think I am finally catching up on a little bit of rest, and even though the Lady has not stopped talking about all things Disney, I think she is glad to be home.

I am amazed at how quickly this summer has gone by. I have tried to keep busy and we have been lucky enough to be able to spend a lot of time with friends and family.

I am in the process of trying to figure out who is going to watch the Ladies once my sister goes back to college. I am not looking forward to it.

Yesterday, I interviewed someone. She was very nice, totally qualified and tried to make a connection with the Ladies. The problem is that she is only available until 3 or 4 in the afternoon and I need someone all day. She also works more like a nanny rather than a regular babysitter. Apparently, this means that if you cancel on her or take vacation she still gets paid, and paid more than I have been shelling out. Ugh.

I am trying to find someone who will be great with the Ladies and willing to put the time and effort in for no more than 15 bucks an hour. In Farfield County, that can be a bit of a problem.

So, I am sure I will spend some time stressing these last days of summer trying to find the perfect person to care for the Ladies when I am at work. At the same time we are going to try to make a few more trips to the beach and meet up for a few more playdates with friends. All of this before September hits and my husband starts travelling more. Can't wait for that, especially since the Lady is all about her daddy. This helped me a lot in Disney when she only wanted him to take her to the bathroom, but won't be of much help at 7 am when she is screaming for him and I am the only one listening.

It will all work out . . . right?

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Little Lady is One!

The Little Lady celebrated her first birthday in Disney World. Not a bad place to mark a very special milestone.

I can't believe how quickly this past year has gone by and how much the Little Lady has grown.

She certainly has her own personality and is just so cute.

She is my beautiful little delicious and I love her dearly.

Happy Birthday Little Lady. Mommy loves you.


Wearing the mouse ears!

Dear Disney: The Finale

Dear Disney,

Thank you.

We had a wonderful time. Despite the heat, the rain and the meltdowns we managed to see most of the attractions on our list and spend some time together.

We are home safe.

I need a vacation.

Hugs and kisses and zip-a-dee-doo-da,


Friday, August 13, 2010

Dear Disney: Day 4 and 5

Dear Disney,

Things are starting to run together here. I am not sure if it is night or day. I feel like I am waking up every morning in the company of a princess and then taking a magic carpet ride or scrambling for the pink Dumbo elephant.

I need to slow down. I need a cool drink on these 105 degree days.

How is it Disney that you design your world to make us feel like if we aren't going and going and going and going that we are missing something? Have we made the best effort to hit all the parks? Have we seen all those little magical things that we were promised? Has the Lady been transformed by the wonder and awe of all things Disney? Are we creating those childhood memories that will be lifelong for her? I am hoping she remembers seeing the princesses and the fairies and not her father and I screaming at her because she is refusing to put on shoes and hasn't showered since day 3.

I am not sure what has happened in these two days. We did a Princess dinner and then woke up the next morning and were on a boat at 7:30 for a Princess breakfast. Things blurred after that.

I did get to ride on Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain, at some point there was a line for the fairies that took well over an hour for about 4 minutes of face time and the Lady once again, not showing any emotion that she was actually excited to see them.

I will say that the Dumbo ride has provided us with about 10 minutes of pure joy. Granted, it took 5 rides to get to a full 10 minutes and the total wait time was approximately 2 hours, but it has been worth it.

I am not sure what the plan is for today. We are tired. We hit the Magic Kingdom last night with the Lady, and her two older cousins. We left the Little Lady behind to get some rest and---I have to go now because the Lady pulled the pj pants off her sister and the Little Lady is now trying to crawl into the kitchen cabinets with her diaper half on.

I got to watch this kid. She is pulling all the paper towels off the roll as we speak.

Mickey--is there someone to clean this up?

Love and kisses and pixie dust.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dear Disney: Day 3

Dear Disney,

We didn't hit the parks today. We only have a specific number of days at the parks and I am actually totally tired.

The Lady went to bed last night at 6:45 and didn't wake up until after 7. The pool called us and although we yet again had to dodge some raindrops it turned out to be a good day.

The Lady ate a giant cupcake.

The Little Lady got some quality pool time.

I was able to get to the gym and shave my legs.

We swam.

We hit Fort Wilderness for dinner. Their chicken was good. Their ice-cream wasn't so great.

My father-in-law got bit by a horse at the petting zoo, which we visited in pitch darkness.

We saw a light show on the lake while we cruised back to our place on a boat.

The Lady fell asleep in my husband's lap, the Little Lady did not.

I am three beers in and blogging.

Thanks for a good day Disney. Thanks for a good day.

love and kisses and beers and beers and beers.


Dear Disney: Day 2

Dear Disney,

What will Day 2 bring? We have 10:20 reservations at Chef Mickey. This is a character breakfast, but first we will get up and try to make our way to the Animal Kingdom for their early morning hours and hopefully a quick Safari.

We are running a little late because the Little Lady woke up at 6 am and fell back to sleep. She doesn't wake up again until 7:30, the same time everyone else in our party is apparently leaving (but, no don't worry about knocking on our door or giving us a call--we will catch up). Anyway, we pack everything up, and finally wake the Lady, who spends most of the AC-blasting bus ride to the Animal Kingdom asking about the Princesses and shivering in the green dress she wore the day before and also slept in.

We get there, we avoid the masses lined up for the 9am opening time and make our way over to the VIP, vacation club line where we have access to early/late hours at specific parks. We then start the trek to Africa. Did I mention the weather has totally sucked Disney? Did I mention that you should just put up a giant covered ceiling over all your parks, like Downtown Las Vegas? You should pipe in a ton of AC, because god knows the tickets are expensive enough and nobody, nobody wants to see so many fat white people sweating and breathing heavily as they stuff a frozen lemonade into their fat faces and cool themselves off with those water bottle/fans you sell for 15 bucks a pop.

Anyway, we got to the safari and hit no line. The bonus of course was that we actually saw some animals. The first time I went to the Animal Kingdom a few years ago, we saw a couple of birds and I am pretty sure those were the ones native to Florida and NOT to the grasslands of the African Savannah. This time we saw like the big 5, like a real African Safari. To top it off we saw the cheetah and a baby elephant. The Little Lady was psyched. She was waving at everything and smiling big. The Lady was impressed and I tried my hardest to get a few good shots of the animals.

We headed out of our safari jeep into a torrential downpour. Getting soaked at 8:45 in the morning is no fun. It is magnified by the fact that you know you are going to have to get onto a freezing cold bus and hope that hypothermia doesn't set in.

One good thing was that we actually caught up with the rest of the family and we headed out of the Animal Kingdom towards Chef Mickey's Breakfast together.

Finally, we would see some characters.

Turns out our seat was right next to Brendan Fraiser, the actor of "The Mummy" fame. Apparently, if you are a celebrity all the characters come to you first. The good thing about this was that I got a few good pics before they made their way over to us. The Lady was pretty good. I was concerned that in person she would be scared of the giant, oversized characters who say nothing and hover over you full of glee. But she was excited and we got a few good shots and she even managed to eat some of the Micky shaped waffles.

We finished breakfast, hopped on the monorail and headed to the Magic Kingdom. The Magic Kingdom to me, really is the epitome of the Disney experience. It is what I remember from going when we were younger and it is full of all the classic Disney rides.

The Lady wanted to go to the Cinderella's carousel first. We made our way up Main Street and towards the carousel. When we got there, the carousel wasn't moving and the there was a lady laying on the ground with her leg elevated. Really? Really lady? What happened, did you miss the stirrup? Was it a little wet and you slipped? Is it possible that you actually are laying there on the ground while my Lady is making her way towards the one ride that we have been talking about going on? This was supposed to be the start of the most "magical" days of her young life. You bitch. You selfish bitch.

Ok, we decided on Dumbo. The Little Lady is fast asleep in the stroller and it is 110 degrees out with the highest humidity possible. I am quite sure I am functioning in an actual sauna. I am waiting on the side while my husband and the Lady start the back and forth of the line. My mother-in-law, a serious Disney veteran, is smart enough to make her way to an air-conditioned store and to come back 10 minutes later with two lemonades.

In that time period, I stand there waiting to see the pop of green from my husbands shirt as they wind their way back towards my general direction. This doesn't happen. I just so happen to turn around towards the carousel, where I see my husband and the Lady strapped onto a horse about to start their ride. What? You couldn't make a pit stop by the waiting area outside the Dumbo ride to let me know that you had changed your plans? Apparently, the Lady wanted to ride the carousel so that my friends, is what she did.

Then finally, my friends, finally, we make our way towards the princesses.

Thank you Disney, for having an actual "attraction" of the princesses. Granted, we had to wait about 35 minutes and granted, if you wanted to see the fairies you would have had to wait another 45 minutes after to see them (but we won't tell the Lady that) even though the line was right next to the princess line and I am pretty sure we could have combined both "attractions" in one line, but hey, I don't run the place, I just have a very excited, very patient, almost 3-year-old who is princess obsessed, even though she has never seen one of the movies. The Little Lady is not as patient and she hasn't been changed since the Animal Kingdom. Please Little Lady, for the love of god, behave. This is your sister's moment.

Finally. Finally. Finally.

There they were. Sleeping Beauty (her favorite), Cinderella (beautiful in blue) and Belle (oh, sweet Belle who said that the Lady was so sweet) thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am glad you got my previous letter. You were kind, totally accommodating and very generous to the Lady. I was emotional. I admit it, I wanted to cry a little. It is such an odd feeling as a parent when you see a "dream" of your child's come true. I was so excited for her.

The Lady on the other hand, conveyed no emotion what so ever. For someone who was so stoked to see these princesses she acted a bit aloof, kind of distant and a little cool. I think she was a little overwhelmed. She hugged Sleeping Beauty, felt up Cinderella and got a lipstick stain on her cheek, and sat a wee bit away from Belle. The photos are hysterical. The Little Lady made her way into a few and we could finally check off the princesses from our list.

I could have hopped a plane back to NYC at that point and been totally happy.

Disney, oh Disney, dreams do come true.

We hit the Pooh ride, then Dumbo and then made our way to the parade. We headed out of the park after that, in yet another torrential downpour. The second of the day, but it was totally worth it. Totally.

Princesses. Princesses. Princesses.

Love, kisses and a very grateful mother's embrace,


Dear Disney: Day 1

Dear Disney,

Thank you for your "magical" welcome when we arrived in Orlando at 10:15 pm, with a sleeping Little Lady and a very awake Lady. Thanks for the 20 minute wait on the bus before we headed out for our 30 minute ride, so that by the time we get to the Wilderness Lodge and get organized, it is way too late for any of us to still be up. Because of this, the Little Lady doesn't fall asleep until 1:15 am and the Lady has a breakdown, which ends in her asking us to put her Dora blankie on the floor of the bathroom, where she finally passed out, and by the time we finally move her into her final sleeping place it is after 1:30 in the morning.

Ah, day one---what will you bring? Rain. Rain. Rain.

No parks, a bit of time at the pool and zero nap by the Lady.

Day one ends with a 7:45 pm dinner reservation at Downtown Disney in an Irish Pub, where I was happy to find a keychain with my name on it, but very unhappy with the behavior of the Little Lady, who was well past her bedtime by the time the food arrived at 9:15 and out people watching with her mother while everyone enjoyed some dessert around 10 o'clock.

Now, I will admit that the Little Lady isn't the first person in my family to make a scene at an Irish Pub (myself included) but it was enough to make me question bringing her out to dinner at all.

Luckily the Lady was (kind of) well behaved and very understanding about the fact that we spent the first day in Disney without seeing any princesses. The Lady passed out on my husband's shoulder and the Little Lady soon followed in the stroller ride to the bus. They both never even stirred until the next morning.

Oh, Disney, thank you for taking us into your fold.

love and kisses and Mickey shaped ice cream,


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Going Down to Disney

If it wasn't clear from my last post, we are heading off to sunny (and probably terribly hot) Orlando to visit Disney World. I am very excited for the Little Lady. We are going out and buying new princess undies to add to our growing collection of, well princess undies.

The Lady likes to change her undies after every bathroom visit and since we only have one pair of Cinderella's and Sleeping Beauty's, I am doing a lot of laundry.

I am going to try to check in a few times next week. I am sure we will have our moments. I am not looking forward to waiting on line for 25 minutes to get to the front and have the Lady tell me she needs to pee. I am also not looking forward to trying to entertain the Little Lady on the plane!

It should be fun. Posts and pics to come. . .

Countdown. . .

Dear Disney Princesses,

You ladies better be around next week, and when I mean around, I mean at the end of a very short line where you will embrace the Lady with kindness and pose for numerous photos with her.

You better make her Princess-fueled dreams come true--that means you Sleeping Beauty, or as the Lady likes to call you "Sleeping Beaut" she will be wearing you on her undies and talking about you incessantly until we meet face to face. Do. Not. Disappoint.

I don't care if in your real life you got into a fight with your boyfriend, or your cat puked on your shoes. I better see smiles and real care and concern for not only the Lady, but for the rest of those little girls who have been buying all your crappy plastic stuff from China and dressing up in entirely inappropriate footwear.

Thank you for your time. Looking forward to seeing you all.

Love and kisses and dancing animal songs,


Monday, August 2, 2010

Why Yes, That is my Pink Elephant in Front of the Sausage Factory

There are good days and then there was Monday.

It is a surreal feeling, when you pull your car up along the sidewalk feeling a sense of euphoria for having found a 29" x 29" soft pink elephant napping blanket in front of a sausage factory.

It is an odd mixture of "is this really my life?" meshed perfectly with "there is a god, my children will be happy, I should start playing the Power ball, and do we need any sausage?"

You might be asking, how did you get there Bean? How did you get to the point where you were doing a recovery mission for a missing pachyderm? What sequence of events had you scanning the sidewalks of Stamford for the Little Lady's big nonnie?

Well let's just say it involved the bookstore, a bottle of water and breakdowns (a large one by the Lady and small one by me).

Let's just start by saying that I had an 8am dentist appointment. That right there doesn't bode well for the rest of the day.

I decided to get the Ladies out and about early. We took out the stroller and headed out towards the bookstore. I promised the Lady that we would see two more art sculptures of cats and dogs that we had missed.

The walk was uneventful. The Little Lady passed out. The Lady and I discussed the option of book buying.

We saw the animals. A sparkly cat and an IPhone inspired dog. We headed into Barnes and Noble.

Things started off well. There were plenty of Princess inspired books and toys for the Lady to peruse. There was also a stage on which she could do some of her amazing dance moves. Perhaps we danced too long?

We made a pit stop in the B&N bathroom. FYI. .. their toilets flush aggressively loud and I blame them for waking up the Little Lady. We then headed back to the kids section to pick out a book.

I tried to persuade the Lady to pick out something non-Princess related. This did not work. We found a book about Ariel, I picked out a new Sandra Boynton for the Little Lady and we took the elevator upstairs to find a book for me.

Why did I think that I would actually be able to look around and pick out a book for myself? What type of fantasy world am I living in? Anyway, I decided to buy the final book in the Stieg Larsson, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. I mean, I read the first two, but I didn't really want to commit to buying a hardcover, after some hemming and hawing, I decided to get it. However, the Lady decided that she had had enough and was ready to leave. She chose the moment right before we were heading to the check out counter to walk out of the bookstore into the mall.

This forced me to put the books down, leave the Little Lady sitting in the stroller and make a mad dash to grab my firstborn. She was not pleased. Neither was I.

I did the responsible parent thing and strapped her, screaming, into the stroller and walked out sans books. The crying continued down the elevator to the street level. It continued past the giant horses outside P.F. Chang's, it continued as we crossed over two streets and made our way home. And what was it that she was screaming? "I WANT MY ARIEL BOOK!"

At one point I had to stop the stroller and hold her. She was physically trying to launch herself out of the stroller onto the sidewalk, even though she was strapped in.

I tried to calm her down. I bribed her with fruit snacks. She seemed to be okay. She stopped crying. We passed Dunkies. I had to go in. I mean, I needed a small fix after that tantrum. I got a coffee and they threw in their complimentary munchkins. We were almost home.

As we rounded the corner onto our street, the Lady asked for a donut. I said no because she just ate fruit snacks. I told her she had to be a good listener, blah, blah, blah and that the reason we left the bookstore was because she wasn't listening. . . this wasn't a good idea. It just reminded her of Ariel and the screaming started again.

As we were walking up the driveway the Lady took herself out of her side of the stroller (no, I didn't strap her back in after I took her out) and climbed on top of the Little Lady. I now had two screaming kids. This yelling by the Lady did not stop. She sat on the path outside our door and screamed.

It was hot. I was tired. The Little Lady needed a bottle. I decided that if the Lady was going to sit there and scream, I should at least supervise her. I started to pour some Poland Spring into the bottle.

Apparently, the Lady was thirsty.


This went on for a minute or two and then things got physical. The Lady tried to pry the bottle out of my hands. She needed the water that was in the baby bottle, the leftover water in the water bottle was not sufficient. We scuffled. She started to growl. I finally was able to release her death grip on the baby's bottle and as I tried to shovel in the formula mix, the Lady found the rest of the water bottle and poured it over my head.

There are good days and then there was Monday.

I tried to keep it together. I finished making the bottle and sat on the stairs leading upstairs to our place, while the Lady stayed on the bottom of the stairs, still kicking and screaming about the water bottle.

I was finally able to coax her upstairs, throw some lunch at her and convince her that we needed to hit the streets in an attempt to find Effie the missing elephant.

I loaded the Ladies into the car. I was hoping we hadn't dropped it in the bookstore, because the Lady was only wearing princess undies. We pulled out of our driveway and started to retrace our route. I was hoping that no one was behind me, because I was driving like 7 miles per hour, trying to look behind parked cars for anything with a hint of pink.

And then, out of the corner of my eye, there she was. She was crumpled in a heap, just laying on the sidewalk, and that my friends is how I found the Little Lady's pink elephant in front of the sausage factory.