Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dear Disney: Day 2

Dear Disney,

What will Day 2 bring? We have 10:20 reservations at Chef Mickey. This is a character breakfast, but first we will get up and try to make our way to the Animal Kingdom for their early morning hours and hopefully a quick Safari.

We are running a little late because the Little Lady woke up at 6 am and fell back to sleep. She doesn't wake up again until 7:30, the same time everyone else in our party is apparently leaving (but, no don't worry about knocking on our door or giving us a call--we will catch up). Anyway, we pack everything up, and finally wake the Lady, who spends most of the AC-blasting bus ride to the Animal Kingdom asking about the Princesses and shivering in the green dress she wore the day before and also slept in.

We get there, we avoid the masses lined up for the 9am opening time and make our way over to the VIP, vacation club line where we have access to early/late hours at specific parks. We then start the trek to Africa. Did I mention the weather has totally sucked Disney? Did I mention that you should just put up a giant covered ceiling over all your parks, like Downtown Las Vegas? You should pipe in a ton of AC, because god knows the tickets are expensive enough and nobody, nobody wants to see so many fat white people sweating and breathing heavily as they stuff a frozen lemonade into their fat faces and cool themselves off with those water bottle/fans you sell for 15 bucks a pop.

Anyway, we got to the safari and hit no line. The bonus of course was that we actually saw some animals. The first time I went to the Animal Kingdom a few years ago, we saw a couple of birds and I am pretty sure those were the ones native to Florida and NOT to the grasslands of the African Savannah. This time we saw like the big 5, like a real African Safari. To top it off we saw the cheetah and a baby elephant. The Little Lady was psyched. She was waving at everything and smiling big. The Lady was impressed and I tried my hardest to get a few good shots of the animals.

We headed out of our safari jeep into a torrential downpour. Getting soaked at 8:45 in the morning is no fun. It is magnified by the fact that you know you are going to have to get onto a freezing cold bus and hope that hypothermia doesn't set in.

One good thing was that we actually caught up with the rest of the family and we headed out of the Animal Kingdom towards Chef Mickey's Breakfast together.

Finally, we would see some characters.

Turns out our seat was right next to Brendan Fraiser, the actor of "The Mummy" fame. Apparently, if you are a celebrity all the characters come to you first. The good thing about this was that I got a few good pics before they made their way over to us. The Lady was pretty good. I was concerned that in person she would be scared of the giant, oversized characters who say nothing and hover over you full of glee. But she was excited and we got a few good shots and she even managed to eat some of the Micky shaped waffles.

We finished breakfast, hopped on the monorail and headed to the Magic Kingdom. The Magic Kingdom to me, really is the epitome of the Disney experience. It is what I remember from going when we were younger and it is full of all the classic Disney rides.

The Lady wanted to go to the Cinderella's carousel first. We made our way up Main Street and towards the carousel. When we got there, the carousel wasn't moving and the there was a lady laying on the ground with her leg elevated. Really? Really lady? What happened, did you miss the stirrup? Was it a little wet and you slipped? Is it possible that you actually are laying there on the ground while my Lady is making her way towards the one ride that we have been talking about going on? This was supposed to be the start of the most "magical" days of her young life. You bitch. You selfish bitch.

Ok, we decided on Dumbo. The Little Lady is fast asleep in the stroller and it is 110 degrees out with the highest humidity possible. I am quite sure I am functioning in an actual sauna. I am waiting on the side while my husband and the Lady start the back and forth of the line. My mother-in-law, a serious Disney veteran, is smart enough to make her way to an air-conditioned store and to come back 10 minutes later with two lemonades.

In that time period, I stand there waiting to see the pop of green from my husbands shirt as they wind their way back towards my general direction. This doesn't happen. I just so happen to turn around towards the carousel, where I see my husband and the Lady strapped onto a horse about to start their ride. What? You couldn't make a pit stop by the waiting area outside the Dumbo ride to let me know that you had changed your plans? Apparently, the Lady wanted to ride the carousel so that my friends, is what she did.

Then finally, my friends, finally, we make our way towards the princesses.

Thank you Disney, for having an actual "attraction" of the princesses. Granted, we had to wait about 35 minutes and granted, if you wanted to see the fairies you would have had to wait another 45 minutes after to see them (but we won't tell the Lady that) even though the line was right next to the princess line and I am pretty sure we could have combined both "attractions" in one line, but hey, I don't run the place, I just have a very excited, very patient, almost 3-year-old who is princess obsessed, even though she has never seen one of the movies. The Little Lady is not as patient and she hasn't been changed since the Animal Kingdom. Please Little Lady, for the love of god, behave. This is your sister's moment.

Finally. Finally. Finally.

There they were. Sleeping Beauty (her favorite), Cinderella (beautiful in blue) and Belle (oh, sweet Belle who said that the Lady was so sweet) thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am glad you got my previous letter. You were kind, totally accommodating and very generous to the Lady. I was emotional. I admit it, I wanted to cry a little. It is such an odd feeling as a parent when you see a "dream" of your child's come true. I was so excited for her.

The Lady on the other hand, conveyed no emotion what so ever. For someone who was so stoked to see these princesses she acted a bit aloof, kind of distant and a little cool. I think she was a little overwhelmed. She hugged Sleeping Beauty, felt up Cinderella and got a lipstick stain on her cheek, and sat a wee bit away from Belle. The photos are hysterical. The Little Lady made her way into a few and we could finally check off the princesses from our list.

I could have hopped a plane back to NYC at that point and been totally happy.

Disney, oh Disney, dreams do come true.

We hit the Pooh ride, then Dumbo and then made our way to the parade. We headed out of the park after that, in yet another torrential downpour. The second of the day, but it was totally worth it. Totally.

Princesses. Princesses. Princesses.

Love, kisses and a very grateful mother's embrace,



  1. Good stuff Bean! can't wait to see the pictures.

  2. This is great Bean!! Laughed and teared up - not a better read is there out there! Try to stay cool!

  3. that actually sounds like the worst, for you and The Toy that is. next time just pay me to wear a princess dress and we'll take both the kids to Playland and be home in time for Colony and So You Think You Can Dance.

  4. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. Brendan Fraser is NOT a celebrity.
    How many times have you had to change the Little Lady's shoes?