Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hippity, Hop, Hop

Here are a few pictures from our Easter weekend. It was a whirlwind as usual but I think the Ladies really enjoyed themselves and we got to spend a lot of time with family.

 This is a pic of the Ladies with their new umbrellas, courtesy of the Easter Bunny. Yes, they are wearing nothing but a raincoat and boots in this photo. And yes, the Little Lady is wearing a size 5T raincoat because she wanted to and we don't have any in her size.

 The Lady. I mean she poses for every shot. It is hard to catch her in a candid moment. We will be having a personal photo shoot this weekend because she needs to bring in a photo of the two of us for "share" on Tuesday at school. Is it totally pathetic that I have like zero photos of me and my kids together? Probably, but I also have a double chin, occasional bouts of adult acne and am in dire need of a brow wax.

The Little Lady running. Note the band aid on her arm. It is a Lightning McQueen band aid. She had it on for like four or five days. It made it through a few baths and finally had to be removed last night at my parents house, only when it was replaced by a Dora and Boots band aid. Please be aware there is no injury to cover and she is, in old-school rapper style, wearing it only as a fashion statement.

I don't know why I am constantly surprised after these Holidays when we come home with literally bagfuls of stuff. I am grateful for the generosity of our family, but we now have 8 new Easter baskets, like 75 plastic eggs and one giant Ziploc gallon-size bag full of candy that is slowly losing all of its delicious mini Snickers.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dear Old Navy, RE: Smelly Jellies

Dear Old Navy,

I recently purchased a pair of your pink sparkle jelly sandals for the Lady. To say she was excited by this purchase would be an understatement. Anything pink, anything sparkle, anything shoe related has some immediate effect on her little toddler brain. This shoe purchase was actually a bit of an impulse buy on my part because we were returning a dress that she refused to wear, after picking it out herself on a prior visit. Since she had seen the jellies on our last visit and I told her that at another time we could get them and since we had the store cred--well we went home with the jellies.

Old Navy, I have to applaud you on your security/impressive sales technique of these shoes. You have them clipped together in such a way that it is virtually impossible to try these shoes on let alone walk around in them to see how they fit. In order to actually get a good sense of how they actually feel on the Lady's feet we had to purchase them. Bravo, Old Navy, Bravo.

Now, I will say that I have made plenty of purchases from you in the past. You do have easy, affordable clothing that I know will eventually fall apart in my washing machine, but in terms of comfort, style and my wallet have helped me round out my wardrobe and the wardrobes of my Ladies on many an occasion. In fact, I am looking forward to my post-partum days where I am wearing pretty much nothing but your tank tops and yoga pants as I try to maneuver the world of three kids.

I don't want to get too far off topic here, the real reason I am writing you is to let you know that your jelly shoes stink. They smell so bad that I am considering burying them in the backyard, however I am fearful that whatever chemical component these shoes are made up of may leech into the groundwater and contaminate my drinking water.

I mean are these shoes made out of glitter and toxic waste?

The info listed on the sole of the shoe says that they are made out of "other materials" it doesn't even say plastic on there. I mean is it horse parts and pixie dust? Seriously, I am concerned.

I am concerned for the people responsible for making these shoes are they losing patches of hair? Do the inside of their noses look like they have suffered from years of cocaine abuse? How are the delivery people handling the overwhelming stench coming off of these shoes as they open up the back of their trucks and unload? Are Old Navy employees complaining? Will they start wearing paper masks?

I will say that the smell was present in the store, but since it was a large place and since I wasn't quite sure where the source was, I bought the shoes. It wasn't until we got home that the sad reality set in. The Lady loves these shoes but the stench is driving me crazy. I have left them at the top of the stairs so they don't co-mingle with the Ladies toys or food preparation, but every time I walk in the door I am hit with the rank odor eminating off of these pretty pink shoes.

I know I am pregnant and have a heightened sense of smell, but I am worried that one day I will wake up and the Lady's feet will have absorbed the smell of these shoes and I will have to live out my days with the knowledge that I purchased smelly jellies for my kid and that it has permanently permeated her feet.

Where is the line Old Navy between affordable, cute and cool and purchasing items that may or may not be polluting the air and land outside the factory where these are produced and causing my gag reflex to go into overdrive every time I enter my house? Tell me where?

The other day in sheer desperation I opened the window and put the shoes on the ledge. The Lady wanted to know why her jellies were hanging out on the window sill. I told her that I thought they smelled bad. She took them down, fastened them to her feet and told me she liked the smell. I am pretty sure she thought I would get rid of them, but there is no way that anyone could like the smell of what I can only imagine is a cross between liquid ass molded into a shoe shape, combined with shimmer and the dreams of those factory workers somewhere in the depths of China who hopefully have access to nose plugs and some Glade room deodorizers.

In closing, I wanted to make you aware of the double-edge sword your store offers me and my family. You are so good at drawing us in with your great deals and campy ads, your affordable prices and your use of sparkle. However, at the end of the day, when the tags are removed and the shoes are off, I am left with nothing but a nagging feeling that I am a terrible parent because I have exposed my child to a product made of "other materials" and have brought a shoe into my house that has started to not only erode my sense of smell, but that has left me partially high on the sick, chemical stench, which I am pretty sure isn't great for my unborn kid.

So, Old Navy, until we meet again in a cramped dressing room, with the three to five beach dresses I will be purchasing to drape over my post-pregnancy body, I am yours in stank,


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A Little Tap, Tap, Tappy!

All dressed up for tap/ballet!
 As promised a photo of the Lady in her tap outfit. She loved, loved, loved the class and I am super happy that she was so into it. She also didn't give me any trouble about putting her hair back! Ah, the little victories!

The best part about the entire class is that the studio has been redesigned and the parents are no longer inside the room with the kids. This means that I can actually leave the dance studio and not have to worry about the Lady missing me or the Little Lady trying her hardest to join the class.

There is a window to peek into, which is great you should have seen the Lady's face, all I can say is joy, joy, joy as she shuffled and stamped her way across the floor, and I will probably hang for a few minutes at the beginning and end of each class, but I don't have to worry about her always being on the look out for me.

I will say we have had to limit the tap shoe time in the house. As much as she loves these shoes, they are super loud. Not sure my husband appreciated the recital that took place above his head on Saturday morning, but hey the Lady needs to practice her art.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

"Scared" of Sesame and the Ladies Love to Dance

The Little Lady at her Music and Dance Class. The other kid in the photo was everywhere. Tried to crop him out, but no go.
So, my husband took the Ladies to Sesame Street Live last weekend. We purposly did not tell the Lady where she was going because she has a tendency to talk herself out of new experiences before she even tries them. Apparantly, she was initially excited when she saw the sign and the truck with all the characters on it, but then turned to tears when the actual entering of the building occured. She told the hubby she wanted to go home and that she was "scared of Oscar." She has been using this "scared" excuse for a couple of weeks now. Sometimes she is scared of school, scared of getting dressed and her teacher told me that the other day at school she told her she was "scared" of washing her hands for fear that her princess band-aid would come off.

I am pretty sure "scared" is code for "I want to do whatever I want, without you interfering, so deal with it."

The Little Lady, however, had a great time. She was singing and swaying. That kid can't get enough of Elmo. I was glad that the Wild Ones were there as well with their parents. I know more hands help, especially in an arena filled with kids and muppets.

I was just as happy to take a little nap, have an uninterupted shower and a bit of rest to help me finally get over my cold.

I will say I was a little surprised that the Little Lady wasn't as enthusiastic about her first music/dance class this week. I expected her to be clapping and running about in the midst of everything, but she held back a bit at first. Granted, she will be going with the sitter to this class, so it was probably hard to have me sitting there watching and not really partcipating with her, but I wanted her to get used to going without me.  I am hopeful that she gets into the swing of it. (Note the hair clip in her hair in the photo above. She will only wear it with the sitter, it is crazy!) I will say that by the time the bubbles and the parachute came out, she was a bit more involved.

We will see how the combo class of ballet/tap goes on Friday with the Lady. She already thinks she can tap dance in her sparkle shoes. I am going to have to hide the real ones from her at home. Talk about a lead foot, that girl can pound the floor. The thing I am actually more concerned about is the fact that in this class the dancers have to wear their hair up.

Please for the love of God Lady, don't tell me you are "scared" to wear your hair back.