Tuesday, November 23, 2010

On Harry, Football, Freckles and Pooping in a Purse

It has been a busy weekend. My brother-in-law is up with his family and I headed to the in-laws with the Ladies on Friday afternoon after ballet. It was great for the Ladies to get together with their Texas cousins and it was nice to spend some time with the family. We headed back home in an attempt to beat the traffic and to get cleaned up because Momma was going out!

I was able to get a sitter for Friday night and my husband and I joined my brother and sister-in-law for a little bit of Harry Potter. Considering that the last time I went to the movies was when the last Harry Potter movie came out, I was grateful just to leave the house. The movie turned out to be pretty good and I guess the next time I step into a theatre will be for the final Harry film.

Saturday was going to be either a really good day or a really bad day. It depended on two things: 1. How cold it got outside and 2. if the Irish could actually win a football game. As it turns out, Saturday was a lot of fun. I was excited to see a football game in Yankee Stadium, but was worried about being freezing. We dropped the Ladies off at my parents, layered up and took the train into the Bronx. We met up with friends and family and the temperature didn't drop too low. Granted, I was wearing running tights over jeans that were tucked into Uggs and sporting a puffer hoody jacket that made me feel more Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man than casual football fan, but it worked out. And even though I waited on quite possibly the longest line in the Stadium for a $4 hot chocolate it turned into a good evening.

The next morning we had to head back into the City for a play with the Lady. Her grandmother invited her, her cousin and my sister-in-law and I to see an adaptation of Julianne Moore's children's book "Freckleface Strawberry." The Lady got new sparkle shoes and sparkle tights. I wasn't sure how she was enjoying the play, considering she sat there stone faced during the entire performance, much like her Disney Princess experience, but in the end she told me she loved it, she got some strawberry lip balm and had a great time.

The Lady and her Cousin. Will post photo of sparkle shoes soon.

Oh, I forgot, I am pretty sure some of you were curious about the "Pooping in a Purse" portion of this blog title.

Anyway, as I was sitting in the left-field bleachers at Yankee Stadium on Saturday night, I saw that I had a missed call from my sister. Since the game hadn't started yet, I called her back. I could barely understand what she was saying, partially because the stadium was so loud, but also because she was laughing so hard. When I finally was able to decipher what she said, simply "The Wild Man pooped in the purse you gave me for your wedding," I was in tears. Apparently, the Wild Man and his sister were playing when I guess nature came calling. Rather than attempt a run to the toilet he just used what was handy. Luckily it was empty, unluckily, he gave the purse to his little sister who brought it into the kitchen to give to her parents. Oh, Wild Man you never cease to entertain me.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

What You've Missed

It's been a while and I am sorry. Here is a recap of the highs and the lows you have missed in the life of the Three Bean Salad.

I ran into the neighbor's garbage can (again) with my car. To be fair, 1. at least it wasn't their car and 2. it is left entirely too close to the common area of the driveway where I need to turn around.

The Little Lady has continued her love for all things bathroom related and has pooped on the potty by herself twice in the last couple of weeks. Her sister has been ignoring her body's signs to go to the bathroom and instead is just going through 5-15 pairs of "big girl undies" a day because she can't be bothered to get up and use the bathroom. In a exceptionally brilliant show of sheer determination and with a keen "fuck you mom" attitude, the Lady told me she didn't have to go to the bathroom, in what might have been a very weak moment in my three plus years of motherhood, I physically lifted her up on to the toilet and tried to keep her there. The Lady wanted none of this and as I tried to remove her little sister from the area, she told me that she didn't want to go on the potty and was going to go "right here." Right here meaning, right next to the toilet on the rug.

I went to the Lady's parent/teacher conference, where I had to sit in one of their chairs. It is true, they have no adult size chairs in the room. Even the teachers have to sit on those tiny little plastic chairs made for the small bottoms of 2-4 year old kids. Anyway, the teachers said that the Lady was great, good with her classmates, good with listening and that she never gave them a hard time. I demanded video proof. I am, however, very proud of her and this week they will be starting to use scissors.

I have cried every single time I have seen one of those commercials where the parents surprise their kids with a trip to Disney World.

I have started coaching a "Lil' Laxers" program for 2-5 year-olds on Wednesday afternoons. The Lady is not taking this class, instead, I am surrounded by all boys, who spit and swing sticks and are constantly drifting off into some never-never land of inattentiveness and coughing relentlessly without covering their mouths.

I was the mystery reader at the Lady's school. I showed up with some books, they all closed their eyes, and I "surprised" them. The Lady was very excited. In order to make sure I was on time. I sat in the parking lot for about 15 minutes where I was horrified to find a chin hair while I was looking in the mirror. It is bad enough with the adult acne, but I think facial hair is a bit much don't you? How much more can one woman bear? Now, at this school everyone drives a black Tahoe and wears either their workout clothes or super cute flats to pick up their kids, so I am a little self-conscious about how I look. Imagine my horror, when I realized that this wasn't even a tiny hair, but one that looked long enough to curl. I am clearly not paying enough attention to myself. Luckily, I was able to pull it free. When we left school, we stopped at the nail place to get a quick eyebrow wax. . .

. . .at lunch, after the "mystery reading" and the salon the Lady and I met my husband. When he arrived she quickly announced to him and the rest of the line at Panera that "mom got her eyes done!"

The Little Lady has become very interested in TV. She vocalizes her displeasure if you turn off whatever is on or if you turn the channel from something kid related to something more adult. Since, she is the first one up in the morning, my husband and I have been taking her into bed for some one-on-one snuggle time. She is super cute and it is nice to spend some solo time with her. However, some mornings we snuggle on the couch, where she climbs over me to find the remote and insists on pressing the buttons in an attempt to find "Melmo."

I ran out of laundry detergent, paper towels, dishwasher detergent and Clorox wipes on the same day. This of course meant a trip to Target with the Ladies, where we were able to get all of the above, but also came home with Princess gummy vitamins, Princess band-aids, Princess toothpaste and spent about 15 minutes "browsing" the toy aisles for things to add to the Christmas list.

The Little Lady is down to one nap a day and she only naps for maybe an hour. An hour. Ugh.

The Money-Saving-Mom sent her husband to the brand new grocery store in town, where a gallon of milk is only $1.99. He came home with 4 gallons of organic milk at $5.29 a pop.

The Christmas cards have been delivered. After making 6 different versions, I decided on one and by using a combination of coupon codes and giveaways, I was able to save over a hundred dollars on the cards, two photo books and shipping. Now I just have to address the envelopes and buy the postage. I am hoping these go out before December 15th.

The countdown begins for my husband to head to Cali for two weeks. 15 more days before he leaves. I have a feeling there will be a lot of late night blog posts and peanut M&M binges as I try to navigate those days on my own.

Missed you guys. Thanks for reading.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Mommy Mind Melt and the Bathroom in Aisle 13

My week started when I arrived five minutes late to a 9am doctor's appointment for the girls to get their flu shots.

Turns out I was actually 6 days, 23 hours and fifty-five minutes early (is this math right? I am not sure, but you know what I mean) to the appointment. It was scheduled for this coming Monday.

Ugh. So now I have to pack them both up again, bright and early, and take them to get shots. Good times. Good times.

We did go out for pancakes after our failed visit. So, I guess there was a bit of a silver lining. However, I had to escort the Lady and the Little Lady into a tiny restaurant stall for a pee break, which would have been fine if the Lady hadn't insisted on putting her hands behind her on the toilet for balance. Granted, I couldn't really hold her up, because the Little Lady loves all things bathroom related and it was in my best interest, and hers, that she be constrained.

We then hit up the Stop&Shop for some early morning grocery store excitement. We had to get the car cart again, but this time it was more of a truck. The Little Lady lasted about 5 minutes, we didn't even get through the produce section before she was sticking her head out the side and trying to climb out. Needless to say she was put in the basket seat where she ate about three pieces of white American with an abandon I have not seen since the days of the "temptation challenges" on the Biggest Loser.

We almost made it out of the store when the Lady had to make yet another bathroom stop. So we parked the cart outside of the bathroom and headed in. The Lady is partial to this bathroom. Not only does she know that it is at the end of aisle 13, but there is a small sink in there that is just her size.

So after six trips up the stairs with babies and bags of groceries we finally got settled back in the house. I guess it wasn't a bad day for getting out and getting things accomplished. If only I didn't have to head back to the doctor on Monday morning. Maybe this time we will make it on time.

NL halloween 2010

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