Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Momma Called the Doctor and the Doctor Said. . .

I took the Lady to her 3-year-old check-up at the doctor's on Monday.

It was a cold, blustery morning and I was only able to make it out of the house and on time to the appointment with the help of my husband, who was at that point late for work.

I have settled into a routine at our pediatricians office, having been there at least once every three to six months since the Lady was born. We walk in, I have my co-pay check all written out, we look at fish, we hope we are called quickly, we go to the room, the nurse comes in and takes all the vitals, we wait for the doctor, he leaves, the nurse comes back with a shot or two (immunizations--not vodka, although, after the shots are administered, vodka seems like a good idea to me.)

Monday was seemingly no different. I kept the Little Lady in the small umbrella stroller, because quite frankly she needs to be restrained and we headed into the back. First. we had to do a vision test on the Lady, which I thought she would be okay with. So, the Lady, me, the Little Lady in an umbrella stroller and a nurse all walk into basically a closet and try to get comfortable.

The Little Lady starts to cry. I am not sure why, but maybe she is getting claustrophobic. The Lady refuses to wear the pirate eye-patch, the nurse has more than a hard time attaching the electrodes to the Lady's head with some gross white goo, that I know will only cause a tangle in her hair that I will have to battle through at bath time. Finally, the Lady is convinced to wear a butterfly sticker over her eye and the test begins. There are animals and catchy music. There is also the Lady going "NO" and turning her face away from the screen. This means having to start the whole thing over in order to retest. The already close walls starting closing in a bit more.

Finally, we were done. The Lady was promised stickers after her appointment and that got us out of the closet. The nurse then brought us to another area, which I had never been too. Apparently, once these kids turn three they are no longer measured with measuring tape on a piece of tissue paper covering the examination table or weighed on that deli-counter style scale. Now, that the Lady was three she was taken into a holding area and forced to go on the big-girl scale. Oh, you grayish/brown contraption of fear--how I dread you so! But before we were to be weighed and measured we were asked to give a urine sample.

The Lady didn't think this was a good idea. The three of us rolled into the bathroom and the Lady basically refused to pee. She did however want to wash her hands with the soap that had the pink top. We made our way back to the "holding area" where the Lady happily stepped on the scale and stood against the wall to be measured. I told the nurse we would try the bathroom again before we left.

I guess I don't blame the Lady. I am all about the shy pee when it comes to the doctor's office. Throughout both of my pregnancies, I was so worried about having to provide the mandatory urine sample that I would drink a ton of water before each visit. This didn't always produce the required result though and sometimes I had to wait until after the exam to go, then once I left I had to pee about four hundred times from that point on. Anyway, I understand the inability to always pee on demand.

So we headed to the examination room, where the Lady was pretty well behaved the doctor was able to get her on the table and overall everything went fine. When the doctor left the Lady told me she didn't want a "booster" that she was just fine in her big-girl seat. Unfortunately, Lady, we were talking about a booster for the flu shot, not a booster seat for the car. Can you say screaming three-year-old?

Needless to say, the urine sample did not happen, I got sent home with a little plastic container in hopes that I will find the time to collect said sample and drive it back to the doctors office with the Ladies in tow. The Lady found a Princess Tiana sticker on the bottom of the sticker bowl and the Little Lady seemed pretty satisfied with the cat-dressed-as-butterfly-sticker she was given by her older sister. At least that is until she started eating it in the car.

Did I mention the Lady has given up napping? Yeah, fun day had by all.

Do I dare make a dentist appointment?


  1. some of the worst moments of my life have been spent in the pediatrician's office! good luck with the dentist - Emma refused to open her mouth at all the first two times we went... hope it goes better for you! xo deb

  2. Ahh - fun times! I have had a child hiding under a table screaming when it was her turn to have a shot - I second the idea that the pediatician's office should provide parents a different kind of shot!!

  3. Try 2 shots and getting blood drawn for Skywalker's 3 yr appt. Not cool.