Basically, you fast overnight get your blood drawn, drink a disgusting, room temperature sugar drink that tricks you into thinking you might be getting something similar to orange soda, but in reality just makes you a little queasy and lightheaded, sit in the waiting room for an hour and then get your blood drawn again. It seems fairly simple.
Yesterday, I set my alarm for 6:45 with the hopes of getting to the lab by 7:15. However, as mentioned in a previous post, my alarm clock pre-dates my college days and if the volume works at night, it doesn't mean it works in the morning. So when I woke up to the Little Lady calling me almost an hour later (hey its daylight savings time, these kids haven't adjusted yet--don't judge my sleeping habits!) I knew I wasn't making it.
Last night, I decided to set the alarm on my phone for 6:35 so that I would get there by 7 and be out of there by no later than 8:15. This would still give me time at home to get the Ladies ready (with the hopes that the Lady would want to go to the special screening of Peter Pan that her school was putting on in lieu of actual classes because of staff-development), fill up my travel mug with my pre-made iced coffee (look at me planning ahead!) and throwing some fruit salad and yogurt in my little lunch pack (eating healthy too Bean? how ever do you manage to be so organized?)
You see where this is going right?
So the alarm didn't go off at 6:35 and instead I woke up at 6:50 to the sound of the neighbor locking and unlocking their car door. This they do every morning and it is almost as annoying as listening to a car alarm, because it still jolts you out of a deep sleep. This morning however, I was grateful. I checked the alarm on my phone to see why it didn't go off. Can you say PM? I mean how much more cliche can I get here? Am I on an episode of Seinfeld? First no volume, then the dreaded AM/PM switch? Yikes.
Well, I was up, showered and out the door by 7:08 and arrived at the lab at 7:20. There was a woman in front of me but I figured my blood would be drawn and the drink drank by 7:30, out the door by 8:35 with enough time to stop home, kiss the Ladies, give a few instructions to the sitter, grab my coffee and be at work by 9.
I sat down and pulled out the iPad. Oh, Scrabble, with your crazy words that don't make any sense while there are plenty of words that I know are in a dictionary, just not the Scrabble dictionary that should be perfectly acceptable and are part of the English language, which you ignore and/or deem non-existent, I am a bit addicted to you.
Well thank goodness I grabbed not only the iPad but a book as well. I am not sure I could have endured the 40 minutes it took the woman behind the counter to figure out the handwriting on the form so that she could perform the correct tests on the woman in front of me, while all the while listening to the beeping of the door as client after client came in to be stuck with a needle. When the woman finally went into the little room in the back it was 5 to 8. Her actual blood draw took about 3 minutes.
First blood draw: 8:01 am. Ugh.
Back out to the lobby to wait. In the following 15 minutes almost everyone else who was waiting was taken in, poked, prodded and headed out to meet their day. I did feel grateful for another preggo lady sitting beside me, at least I wasn't the only one who had to stay there for a while.
I was also grateful that I brought that book. After kicking the computer's ass a few times on Scrabble (so what if I sometimes use the Best Word option? I mean that is what it is there for and it teaches me new words, and really who among us couldn't stand to learn a new word or two--we live in an society where everything is shortened and abbreviated ttyl, lol, byb, gfy, etc. it is nice to learn an archaic word that will probably never come up in regular conversation but that can score you a shit-load of points on Scrabble), I took out the book and hoped the hour was almost to a close.
Second blood draw: 9:05 am--left arm, apparently not the arm to draw blood, I am pretty sure I heard air escaping from the needle after she poked around for a minute and didn't find a vein. 9:06 am--right arm, apparently the "good arm" and also the arm that had already been used.
9:20: Stopped at Dunkies for an iced coffee and a not very good multi grain bagel. I should have just gotten a donut. Dunkies, I love you--but your bagels suck.
9:30: Finally made it to work.
Present moment: Debating on weather or not to strip off these bandages on both arms. Why can't they just use band aids? Why do they have to use real tape that totally sticks to your arms? They might as well use duct tape, I mean it basically comes off in the same fashion.
Hopefully, all the time wasted was worth it and the tests come back negative. I guess I can be grateful for the few chapters I actually got to read and I did get a bingo in Scrabble on a triple word space (all by myself thanks, sometimes I just throw words up there hoping they work) who knew you could spell itemize with an s?