Tuesday, February 21, 2012

There Were Three in the Bed and the Crazy, Exausted Mom in the Middle Said, "Roll Over, I'm Puking"

It has been an interesting couple of weeks.

I had to go into the big City for two nights a week or so ago. When I checked-in with my husband after a much needed almost full-night's sleep (I guess old habits die hard, there was still a 3 a.m. wake up, but without the usual mouth to feed), he told me that the Lady had thrown up (mostly water) on her way down the stairs that morning.

Mommy-guilt goes into overdrive! My poor Lady--and I could do nothing from the confines of corporate America except fret over her health and e-mail the school that she wasn't coming. I felt bad for me because I wasn't there to console her, I felt bad for my husband because he had to handle it and I felt bad for my sitter because as she was cleaning up after the Lady puked again, she also had to deal with the Little Lady's increased interest in potty training (diapers are "boring") and had to choose between cleaning up the puke or the poop in the Little Lady's hand.

OK, so maybe I didn't feel so bad that I wasn't there. . .

So the next afternoon rolls around, I get home from the City, the Lady seems to be feeling better and my husband gets on a flight to Florida for the next nine days.

By Saturday everyone seems fine. We pack it up and head down to spend the day with the Wild Ones. We put on pj's and head home around bedtime. The Lady is awake and I bring her in, then QT, who is sleeping soundly in his seat. Finally, I wrap the Little Lady in her blanket, walk her up two flights of stairs and as we are about to set foot into her bedroom, she pukes all over me. Fuck.

Did I mention my dryer broke? In the middle of the stomach bug. Ugh.

So, I handle it. I have to. I peel off my puked-covered clothing and set about cleaning up after the Little Lady. I convince her to sleep in my room on the floor, on a towel, with a bowl next to her head. This lasts all of three seconds and she winds up in my bed, with no towel anywhere near her and the pink, puke bowl on the floor next to her.

There is nothing like rinsing out your kid's stomach contents from their blanket and your clothes in the bathtub. What is that? Raisins? Purple fruit snacks? Oh, blueberries, right. We are trying to incorporate more colors from the rainbow into our meals each day.

Clearly, I feel queasy, but I am not sure if it is just because throw up is so gross or if I too, am starting to feel sick.

I finally get everything cleaned up (or thrown away--bye-bye bathroom rugs) and I get everyone to sleep.

Only to spend the rest of my night like this:

(Note: drawings not to scale. Also, I didn't want to imply that I was "stick-figure thin" hence the boobs and belly)

I think these drawings pretty much say it all. Not shown is me texting my mom at 6 a.m. after dry heaving for the second time.

Thankfully, she was able to come over and help me out because I spent about six hours passed out (by myself) in my bed during most of the next day.

The Little Lady got sick one more time that Wednesday, and QT followed up by puking Thursday morning and then again Friday morning at 5 a.m. all over my back. Luckily, we were able to drop our laundry off at my mom's while we wait for the part to repair the dryer.

Stomach bug aside, we have a ton of laundry going through that machine on a daily basis. I am surprised that dryer lasted as long as it did.

Here is to hopefully some healthier days ahead!


  1. OMG this was TOTALLY me one week ago -- this is the craziest stomach bug ever!! I've had it, no joke, THREE times since Jan 1st, and it has this crazy 10-day incubation period ... none of us have all gotten it together! Every 7 to 10 days, one of us projectiles - like clockwork. Ugh, hope you're feeling better and that it leaves your house -- Lysol everything, no joke!!