On Flying, Squirming and Peeing in the Seat

We took the Ladies down to Dallas over the weekend. My hubby had his first event of the season and since his brother lives down there we tagged along to see the family.

The Lady was super excited to see her 4-year old cousin, who shares an affinity for all things princess and high drama.

But first, we had to get there. . .

Flying is a pain in the ass in general. And unless you are one of those super efficient fliers like my husband, who is accustomed to the ins and outs of the airport, who is Platinum on American and who doesn't need to carry a purse, diaper bag and a baby strapped across their chest, then you know what a hassle just getting to the plane can be.

We had one joint suitcase for the four of us, one carry on suitcase, the diaper bag, a clear, pink feather fringed backpack, a computer bag, a carseat, a infant carseat and base, an umbrella stroller, golf clubs, an infant carrier, two kids and hopefully enough snacks. This was for a grand total of about 3 and a half days.

We parked the car, loaded out the kids, the checked baggage and headed for the counter. I have to say that travelling with my husband does have perks. He is on the road often enough that his points have enabled me to fly free for the past two years or so and the luxury of skipping the line and heading to the First Class/Priority counter makes a world of difference.

We checked in and checked our bags.The Ladies and I hung out in the terminal while my husband went back to the car (it also helps if your husband's company pays for parking--this allows you to park in the daily lot and not have to worry about hopping on the bus from long-term parking), picked up the carry-on luggage and met us back by security.

Ah, security. The logistics of getting everything off, through and reassembled can be a bit of a challenge. I will have to say that I think we did a good job. Now, I am not skilled in a ton of things. I know I make good cookies, I am an okay writer and pretty good with trivia, however, since becoming a mother, I have honed the ability to do things with one hand and retrieve items with my toes.

I was able to get the Lady's shoes off and fold up the stroller with one hand, then was able to pick up a dropped princess, light-up sneaker as well as my flips with my toes, while carrying the Little Lady in one hand and Gerry, Moonie, Giant Gerry and Mr. Ducks in the other. For as much stuff as we had I think things moved pretty smoothly.

Since we lost some time waiting for my husband to make the second trip from the car, we didn't have enough time to feed the little Lady her breakfast, this meant applesauce on the plane. I was able to pick up an iced coffee, some yogurt, a bag of trail mix, a Powerade and a copy of Rolling Stone Magazine with the cast of Glee on the cover, but I also had to find a place to put all of it. I am sure it was a sight to be seen with the Little Lady in the carrier, trying to paw at the coffee and yogurt I was balancing in one-hand, while pushing the Lady in the stroller through the jetway with the other. Did I mention we were like three rows from the back of the plane? Oh yeah--we were.




I was worried about the Lady on the flight. I thought that she might get restless and try to escape her seat. I couldn't have been more wrong about her. She was actually very good, minus a few moments of irritability, and she actually fell asleep for about 45 minutes. The Little Lady on the other hand was a whole lot of wiggle.

8-month olds in general are starting to move and the Little Lady is no exception. She is constantly reaching for everything around her. This includes iced coffees, her sister's hair, safety instruction cards tucked in the back of seats and barf bags. She is nimble, she is dexterous and she is quick. Needless to say, she was a bit of a handful on the flight. She never screamed or was super fussy, she was just in constant motion. She also pooped on board and threw her pacifier, spoon and toys on the floor so many times, I thought I might have to burn them when we disembarked because Lord knows what kind of germs she picked up.

And speaking of germs on the flight and changing diapers . . . do not, in an attempt to get your 2.5 year-old dressed and out of the house for a 10:15 am flight put her in a pull-up when she isn't quite potty trained. This will only lead to not changing her into a diaper before the flight leaves, due to lack of time and hope of avoiding a terminal tantrum, and then realizing that she has peed through said pull-up, her clothes and all over the seat. However, please thank your husband for taking her into that tiny bathroom and changing her and finding a blanket to cover the seat with. Note to all travelers: DO NOT USE THOSE BLANKETS--you never know whose 2 year old peed on the seat and had to cover it up! I know it is super gross and makes me kind of skeeved out as a fellow traveler to know that there might be urine or worse on these seats, but such is life and at least she wasn't kicking the seat non-stop the entire ride or screaming crying.

When we finally made it to Dallas, we had to do the baggage thing in reverse. My husband took the Lady and the carseat to pick up the rental car, while the Little Lady and I waited on the luggage. He then parked, came back in with the Lady and helped us lug all the stuff out to the car. I do think that things could have gone much worse. I was grateful that we didn't have any delays, that there was no lost luggage, and that the Ladies were relatively well-behaved. That is of course until we actually got to my Brother-in-law's.

That however is another blog post. . .

The Lady and The Wild Man Visit GG

I am very grateful that I have three living grandparents. I think it is amazing that my kids will spend time with their great-grandparents and have photos to see when they are older.

I still remember driving around with my own GG and visiting her in Florida. And it is a very vivid memory of mine of lining up with my cousins to get a haircut by Grandma Re and having her give us all Certs. Ah, Certs your wintergreen tastiness, stays with me to this day.

A few weeks ago, I piled in the car with the ladies and headed out to LI to visit my grandparents. It was a beautiful day and the kids played down on the beach by their house. It was the first time that they had gotten to see the newest additions and everyone was relatively well-behaved.

Yesterday, we packed up the car and headed north towards Albany to visit with GG. The ride is a little over two hours and when we pulled out my main concern was that the little Lady would need to eat halfway there and I would have to pull over at some Thruway rest stop and breastfeed her in the car. She however, was perfect and slept the whole way. The Lady on the other hand had her moments.

I have been allowing the Lady to listen to my iPod so that she can hear "Halo" on repeat. Yesterday, I made the mistake of not putting the earphones in her ears before we left, so she had a few issues with her "earpods" as she calls them. Once she figured out how to get them both in I had to listen to her sing. I am not a good singer. I admit it. I don't know all the words to songs so I just wing it, I can't carry a tune and any high note I hit sounds like a braying dog. I do, however, love music. The Lady is the same way. As my dad said the other night. "She loves to sing, but she isn't a good singer." So for about 45 minutes I had to listen to her hit the high notes in "Halo." Oh, it is a sound only a mother could love.

Anyway, things started to fall apart when she was unable to keep the earpods in, so I told her I would play the iPod through the radio. I then proceeded to listen to Halo for another 45 minutes, until I turned around and saw that her eyes were closed. When I switched songs, I heard a little voice in the backseat say "NO. Halo." So, we listened to Halo again.

It was around this time that the Lady got uncomfortable. She started squirming in her seat and complaining about wanting to get her backpack off. Now, I didn't realize she was wearing her purple Dora backpack and that my husband had strapped her in with it on. The whining started, then the winging, then the wriggling, until not only was the backpack off but the straps to her carseat as well. She then started to try and heave her body out of the seat. This wouldn't have been as scary, had she not hit the window button with her hand and the window rolled down. Note to self: Child Lock the window and the door immediately!

Needless to say we had to readjust and then finally we pulled into GG's.

The Wild Man had pulled in right before us and was already out of the car, around the side of the house and running through the leaves. The Lady made her way out of the car in her Dora nightgown, a pair of brown fleece pants with multi-colored hearts and her rainboots and was soon right behind him. Before we even got into the house, The Wild Man had knocked over the recycling bin in the garage and the Lady was right there with him. This should have been clue #1 that things were going to get crazy.

I realize now why, when we were younger, my cousins and I were confined to either the basement or the upstairs room of the house. I am not sure how our parents coped with not just two kids running around but upwards of 10-15.

Here are a few of the things that we encountered yesterday, and let me just preface this with the fact that my grandma said that there was nothing out that they could really get to that would cause a problem.

1. The Lady found a coin. This led to my aunt giving the kids handfuls of change, which they proceeded to carry around in a wicker wastebasket, that later in the day they both wore on their heads.

2. This obsession with change led them to the antique cash register that belonged to Grandma Re, where they tried, in vain, to open with a key that didn't fit the register and that ended up in the Wild Man's mouth.

3. Next to this antique cash register were two bells. My grandma has a bell collection, thank god they weren't all out or we would have been subject to some sort of jingle bell catastrophe. These kids were ringing the bells with such vigor that I thought that I would either go deaf, or one of them would end up hitting themselves in the head with the bell with such force that we would end up in the emergency room.

4. Silence is never good and it usually means that your kid is playing in the toilet. This happened twice.

5. Closing doors is probably a good idea (see above) or you may find yourself prying away eye drops from your two-year old, who insists she "needs them," while your nephew chews on a cork coaster in your grandma's room.

6. Letting the kids run around outside is a good idea. Letting them dig in your grandma's flower beds with diggy trucks works too. However, letting them play with sap covered pinecones that leave their hands blackened and sticky, isn't that good of an idea. And, once again when you hear silence, run. Because, as you make your way around the side of the house and hope that the two of them aren't in the street you will probably find them in the garage playing with the recycling bins again.

7. When you hear crashing from another room, run as well. My biggest fear was that they had knocked over something valuable, a bell perhaps or even broken a photo frame. I was grateful that it was just pewter coasters that had fallen to the floor. As I went to pick these up, I found the mechanical pencil with a three inch point on the floor with a pile of post-it notes that I noticed later had been randomly drawn on, the Wild Man with a handful of photos in his sap-covered hands, and the Lady wearing somebody's reading glasses.

8. If you have ever been to my grandma's house you would recognize the cat door-stopper. Basically, it is a brick-stuffed cat that will hold a door ajar. The Wild Man used it as a projectile.

These are just a few of the things we encountered. I am sure my grandma will find evidence of our visit in the next few days. The former "clown room" a scary kind of room when you are small, and lets face it when you are an adult as well, has been reconfigured. The kids were allowed in there, but still were able to take advantage of it. Apparantly, the Lady was trying on clothes in the closet, all the pillows were thrown from the bed, the little crib my grandma put out in case the little ladies needed a nap was full of anything and everything those kids could reach.

Luckily exaustion set in on the ride home. Both of my girls slept the entire way back to my parents, where we were meeting my sister for pizza. We left there a couple hours later, the second house that day destroyed, but with no toilet incident, a small victory that I will cherish.

I'm Back

Sorry for the delay folks but it has been a busy two weeks. Here is a short recap:

The Lady got upgraded to a suite at the Ritz Carleton, she peed on the floor in that room too! We spent the rest of our days sunning at the pool. She didn't love the sand at the ocean though, which she will just have to suck up because I am planning on spending a lot of time at the beach before baby number two this summer.

The trip home was a nightmare. It included:

The Lady peeing through her diaper on me after we got through security. Luckily we had her pj pants from the night before, but lets just say the outfit wasn't super cute.

The Lady throwing a container of peaches in light syrup on the floor of first class and smearing yogurt on the window. Both of these things I had to clean up with my sweatshirt (the one hiding my pee-stained shirt) until the flight attendant could come around with that hot towel. Since we were sitting in the first row, I had no access to my bag filled with wipes until well after take-off.

The Lady taking a poop in first class and me having to change her in that tiny airplane bathroom.

The Lady screaming for fifteen minutes before finally falling asleep with only fifteen minutes left in the flight.

Needless to say, next time I will ride in the back of the bus as long as the Lady has her own seat and I can strap her in.

On a positive note Jared from the Subway ads was also sitting in first class. I like to think that even after all that money he's made from being fat and then eating Subway sandwiches that he still had to listen to the Lady scream.