Fat Ass Friday

I finally went from a contractor to a permanent employee at work. With this change, I am able to take advantage of some of the perks of working for a large company.

In this case, using the on-site gym.

But like a lot of things in corporate America it wasn't going to be easy. There was paperwork and the Medical Center and assessments and appointments and orientations.

I guess I was thinking that it would be an easy start, I would meet with a trainer and they would ask me some questions about my fitness goals and maybe weigh me and then we would be set.

Not so much.

First there was a physical assessment, which included  getting weighed and getting a BMI measurement, push-ups, the wall sit and 20 minutes on a stationary bike while getting periodic blood pressure and heart rate tests.
Can I just say one thing? I hate stationary bikes. I know that spin bikes are technically stationary, but at least a spin class is kick-ass and quick-paced.

I would rather tread water for two hours in my green hoochie-mama/boob display of a bathing suit, while watching Alicia Silverstone pre-masticate her food and feed it to her baby, than ride a stationary bike for twenty minutes.

But alas, that was the price I would have to pay to workout.

Note to self: Don't stop working out, because if you do you will just have to start all over again and once you step off that stationary bike you will feel like puking.

Anyway, after all was said and done I was given the results. Not super pretty, but not totally terrible either. I had to make another appointment (I know, really? Come on, can't you just point me in the direction of the treadmill and give me a list of the cable channels for the TV?) to get an orientation and tour of the gym.

Finally. I got a tour of the gym and of the locker room. Can I just say one thing? They do your laundry here. Laundry. That means that I don't have to lug home dirty undies and it also means that there is really no excuse for me not to workout.

So, I am reinstating my weekly fitness post. It will be called Fat Ass Friday and I will try to keep you updated on my progress as I try to meet my fitness goals.

You Show Me Yours, I'll Hide in the Corner and Change

I signed up for a two-week trial membership at the gym I use to belong to. The goal being to figure out how to fit a workout into my schedule without having to pay for a full membership.

I like this gym because it not only has updated facilities and good classes, but it offers daycare for the kids and a pool. I am thinking about signing the Ladies up for some swim lessons to get them familiar with being in the water. I think the Lady will like it because she loves to swim in the tub, she will float on her back, dip her head and face in and she loves to kick. I will have to see how it goes with the little Lady, because all she does when I put her in the tub is cry.

Anyway, I got out of the house yesterday in the middle of the day--without the kids (thank you Mr. Presidents)--and headed to the gym.

The one thing I forgot about gym locker rooms is the fact that on any given day, at any given hour you have the potential to run into someone who is naked. This never fails to shock me. I have rounded the corner smack into full-frontal nudity on more than one occasion. Do I look away? Fumble with the buttons on my iPod? That is all fine and good, but what happens when this naked person is standing in and around your locker and actively lotioning? What then dear readers?

Yesterday, I walked into the locker room and a woman was coming out of the shower area, wearing only a towel, which was affixed below her bare breasts. I know that towels in gyms can be small, but there are piles and piles of them in this gym--how about using two? Trying to cut down on the environmental aspect of it? How about bringing your own full-body sized towel and reusing when you get home.

Now, I am not grossed out by the human body and between Mardi Gras and breastfeeding, I have whipped my boobs out in public many times. I just wonder why you wouldn't choose to cover-up in a public setting. If I was in a group locker room with other women that I knew, like on a sports team or something, I can see the comfort level being much higher, but this is a gym where strangers are literally walking into the door and you are standing there totally nude. I don't understand it, then again, I am also adept at taking off my bra and putting my sports bra on without actually taking my shirt off--so maybe I am the one with the issue.

So yesterday after the ocular onslaught, I took a deep breath, threw my stuff in a locker, went to the bathroom and when I came back to the changing area to pick up my iPod, I had to ask the nudie boob lady who was now topless hair-brushing to please move so I could access my stuff. She complied, I stared at my shoes while fumbling with the lock and then finally hit the gym.