The Before Photo

It is official. I am a "before" photo. I know I have touched on this a bit in the past, but in the last week or so, the reality of this has really set in.

Anytime I see a glimpse of my own flesh in the mirror, I am reminded of the advertisements in the back of US Weekly, where similarly shaped women claim to have lost 30lbs in 30 days by eating anything they wanted, and pumping enough speed into their bodies that eating, let alone concentrating on anything wasn't even an option.

This "before" photo image doesn't end when I actually clothe my body. Not only, am I going out in sweats (and sweats, that I probably wore the day before or walked in, or slept in), but I am pairing these sweats with XL maternity shirts that look like small pup tents and almost come down to my knees. It was one thing to wear these things immediately after the baby. I couldn't even function and everything hurt, so wearing big, loose clothing was ideal. However, the little Lady will be 2 months old tomorrow and things are a little different.

Now, I have watched hours and hours of What Not To Wear, and never before have I recognized myself so vividly in those women. I ran errands yesterday wearing a pair of capri, blue sweatpants, that I had worn the day before and had walked in a few hours earlier. I paired these sweats with an over sized sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers. Now, the outfit wouldn't have looked so bad, had the sweatpants not been stretched out from frequent use, and infrequent wash, and the crotch of the sweatpants had not been hitting me mid-thigh.

I probably wouldn't be so mortified, had I not caught sight of myself in the large pane glass windows of Bed, Bath and Beyond--where I was going to finally buy a scale so that I could hold myself accountable and try to move forward in my ultimate weight loss goals. God--please let this be the bottom for me!