Motherhood in the Sweet Spot

My children are no longer babies. While they will always be my 3 Beans, we have reached what I like to call the sweet spot in parenting.

That's right. It can happen. Everyone can get dressed by themselves, feed themselves, respond to and follow simple demands (although this might take some repetition), and for the most part function normally in society, with the exception of them running through hotel hallways and Target aisles like gazelles being pursued on an African plain.

The transition from newborns to toddlers to tweens did not take long. And while I miss the sweet, smelling newborns against my skin, the inquisitive toddlers exploring their world and the toothless smiles of kindergarten and first grade, I am grateful for this time that I find myself in.

This is the best I got of all 3 of them!

The Lady is 11. While she is a full on tween who is navigating middle school, social media and the expectations and changes associated with her age, she hasn't quite reached the point where she has sequestered herself in her room. She still allows me to hug her, tell her how much I love her, and dance terribly in front of her without too much embarrassment or rolling of her eyes. She is the most introverted yet independent of my children and demands the least attention from me, for now.

The Little Lady is 9 going on 19. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, is quick to lash out, but loves, loves so freely. She is social and funny and wants more than anything to spend time with her family (when she isn't staring at a screen of course!) playing games, watching movies, baking and creating. She does roll her eyes--frequently, but what she wants most is my attention and time, for now.

QT is 7. How did my baby get so old? He asks the most random questions that I can tell he has been thinking about and then just kind of starts to speak as if we all have been part of the conversation going on in his head. He loves video games and hanging out with his friends. He is always coming really close to the proverbial "line" and can still for the most part get away with it by batting his long eyelashes and smiling, for now.

For now, what I want is to recognize this time, take advantage of it before the doors close and the eyes really roll. For now, I want my children to see our family as a safe space, to be themselves wholly and without fear or doubt before the outside influences, the peer pressure, the impact on their self-confidence continues to creep its way in. Life is coming for them but for now, in this sweet spot of time, I want them to know that their terrible dancing, Grateful Dead loving, lapsed runner and blogger of a mom is here and loving each of them for who they are right now.

Out of Hibernation

In October I took some time off.

I took some time off from work, from blogging, from social media (well, I silently stalked, but didn't do much posting!).

I tried to refocus on myself, my family and my friends. I tried to step back and be more present, rather than rush through each day high on anxiety.

And I think it worked.

Granted, we moved two weeks before Christmas while my husband was on the West Coast and I had to deal with crazies on our old Condo Board and the uncertainty of whether or not we could find a place to move into in the 30-day turnaround time we had.

But I did it. The kids did it. My husband came home to a new house and we segued pretty fluently.

We cut down a Christmas tree. I hosted Christmas. (We have so much more space, that for the first few weeks we were here, I flew into a panic more than once thinking that one of my kids were missing. Turns out they were just in another room.)

All these things that had been in motion for so long, gradually fell into place and I didn't for one minute take it for granted.

I am back at work now and working some days from home. Trying to find the balance in a new situation. Happy for the space outside, the space inside, an office with a closed door. Two extra hours a day with my kids, lots and lots of QT time. I am looking forward to getting back to blogging, back to chronicling my life, and my life with my family.

There were a few things you may have missed though:

• QT is not allowed to use the child cart at Trader Joe's ever again.
• I may have signed up to be class mom for the Little Lady.
• The Lady is taking contemporary dance. The Little Lady? Hip-Hop. Can't wait for the recital.
• I am now making crock pot yogurt and homemade granola.
• I have turned into someone who wears "house shoes" because the floors are freezing here.
• I am training for a half marathon.
• I have a new niece. Pseudonym to come!

 Stay tuned for more of the Three Beans. . .

A Few Changes

As you may have noticed, there are a few changes to The Three Bean Salad. I have added a little ad space on my blog from BlogHer.com.

BlogHer is the end all and be all in women blogging. Check out what they are all about here.

http://www.blogher.com/about-blogher-0

I have decided to join with them in the hopes that I can reach other readers and so that the Money Saving Mom can make a few extra bucks through the advertisements.

As for the layout, I am just tinkering around with different colors/fonts and layouts. I think the look of the Three Bean Salad might change again in the next couple of days until I find something that I really like.

I would welcome any feedback on the look of the site. Let me know what you think.

Happy (Belated) Birthday to The Three Bean!

I just realized that I have been blogging since last September. Thanks to all of you who have come along for the ride--and mainly to those who have stuck around.

I am glad I can fill a small void in your day!

A lot has changed in the last year with the new baby and the new job (I started today), but there are also those things that have stayed the same. I am once again trying to better my bod, still battling the adult acne (although it is getting better and I haven't had to throw away any hand towels lately), and still trying to maneuver this ever changing enigma known as motherhood. I am also trying to find the time to write more, not only on this blog, but for publication. That is definitely one goal I am aiming for this year.

I don't have much time to post now--I probably shouldn't be blogging from work, but be on the lookout in the next day or so for some new posts, such as:

I Was Milked

Ugh, Work--Why Didn't I Bring a Stain Stick?--or--Am I Pumping in a Handicapped Bathroom?

and of course,

The Biggest Loser and Other Updates

Thanks for Reading!!!!

New Blog

I added a link to a new blog written by my friend Brendan. It is called Gray Matter. Brendan is a stand-up comedian/elementary school gym teacher and I have known him his entire life. He doesn't have much up yet, but keep checking.

Note: There is a warning for adult content on this site so if you are some sort of super prude you might want to skip it.

I know, I know. . .

I have been a terrible blogger this week and I apologize. I am very quickly losing all motivation to do anything. Maybe it was the time change and the fact that once it hits four o'clock in the afternoon all I want to do is crawl into my bed and take a nice long nap, interrupted only by Oprah and some TLC.

I have also been kind of slacking in the good mothering category. As I type this the Lady is sleeping in her crib. It is 5:30 in the afternoon. Needless to say we didn't get our usual nap in today and that was my fault. I did have a photo session this morning and then in the afternoon took advantage of the holiday and got to the gym. I know I should wake her up or she will be awake until 10 o'clock tonight but I still haven't decided on dinner and I feel I owe my readers something this week!

Okay, okay, I will get her up in five minutes. Then I will throw some soup in a bowl, defrost some bread wait for my husband to get home, have him deal with dinner and the reinvigorated Lady and I will go take a shower and try to get my word count up on the novel.

For all those Veterans out there, thank you. I hope everyone else is having a good day and I promise I will write something vaguely interesting tomorrow that isn't just about the BL and my very sorry and pathetic attempt to run 5 miles.

Toodles.