On Eating Paint and Wiping Out

So, my hubby left on Friday for 10 days in Florida. To be fair, he is working most of the time and stuck in a conference room for the majority of the day.

Still. . .

I feel like I either see my kids for 2 hours a day or 24. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

Being the mobile, on the move group that we are, we always have plans for the weekends and my parents were very gracious to let us come to their house to sleep over.

Packing for the four of us at this point is usually no problem. This time the Lady did have her own separate bag because we were trading kids with my sister and the Wild Woman was going to come with us while the Lady slept at her cousin's.

We piled up the ridiculous amount of blankets, stuffed animals and pillows that my children travel with, I told everyone to get their shoes on and I went out to move the cars around in the driveway and throw some stuff in the trunk.

As I was walking into the house from outside I heard QT talking to me.

QT: I mixed the paint and eated it.
Me: What?
QT: I eated the paint.
The Little Lady: He mixed up all the paint and ate it.
Me: WHAT!!!!!!!!! (Frenzied running into the room to remove the green paint from his mouth that he had eaten off the paint brush like it was some sort of snack. He had also mixed it into his cereal bowl and now we had green Raisin Bran.)

The paint was non-toxic. I had also asked the Ladies to put it away about 15 times. QT, never liking to be too dirty, insisted on changing his clothes.

This is why things take forever to do. After throwing on another outfit we all piled into the car and headed out.

*******

Really the next thing of note that happened is that I totally pulled my vag on the corner of 77th and Lex.

These things happen. The streets of New York can be mean.

They can also be covered in black ice and coupling that with a pair of traction-less Uggs and two bags filled with bottles of Snapple, I mean you are really asking for a split-style wipe out.

I'd like to think I fell gracefully, like one of these Olympic ice skaters who just rolls right into the next move. I am pretty sure it was as ugly as it felt. Two people did stop to help me, which was very nice.

Luckily, I was able to walk limp away with a few scrapes on my hand, a bumped knee and an appreciation for all the stretching I have been doing in hot yoga.

Also, none of the Snapples broke, which was also good news since I was delivering the majority of them to my girl who had some major back surgery and second only to the painkillers there is nothing better than Diet Peach Snapple.

Apologies and Accolades

I just want to take a moment to formally apologize to my husband for the paragraph I wrote in my last post.

I am somehow uncertain this will be the outcome I am looking for. I am 100% sure that Wubbzy will be playing in the DVD player, but to be ready to go, without 15 extra trips from the house to the car, my husband giving me his not-so-subtle look of "Hurry up Honey, I am ready to explode here, even though you did all of the packing, organizing, cooking and cleaning it takes to get out of the house, and I just packed a bag for myself and put the Ladies in the car, so I can't understand why you aren't quite ready to go, when I am so CLEARLY ready to leave," might not be so obtainable.


I will say that he did take a little offense to that sentence. And why shouldn't he--the punctuation is pretty deplorable! I was just surprised he actually reads this blog.
 
Anyway, I will say that I am sorry. My husband stepped it up last week. He was responsible for the three B's on my list: Bagels, Beers and Balls (meatballs that is). He went out of his way to make sure that we had everything and he was responsible for actually fitting everything we needed (including the Ladies) into the car.
 
And if any of you have ever had to pack a froggy potty in your car, you know that it is tough to fit in a place that is accessible and is also not going to rub its froggy potty germs on anything.
 
One last thing. . . the Lady fell asleep about 15 minutes into the trip. I was able to switch off Wubbzy and finish my book in peace and quiet.

How Many Bottles of Vodka Does it Take to Pack the Car?

I have to think about packing again. We are heading off to our annual College Reunion/Poconos/total chaos/I wish we saw each other more--weekend in Masthope, PA.

 I have to pack for the Ladies.

 I have to pack for me.

 I have to pack the car.

  The problem I always seem to face is that we just have too much stuff. We also     have a large supply of "stuff we might need" but we may not.

 Case in point. We have a station wagon. It has a roomy trunk. In it I need to pack a pack & play for the Little Lady. This is a necessity. I do not want her in bed with me. We also need to pack a stroller. This too is a necessity. But then the question arises, do I pack the double stroller, which has a ton of man power, is great for walks (especially up those hills), and can accommodate both my lovely Ladies or do I pack the single stroller for the Little Lady, because the Lady is almost 3 and can walk and my husband is probably just going to drive up to the pool anyway in the car? Decisions. Decisions.

I have to pack a bag for the Ladies. I could pack one bag for each of them, The Lady in her "Lady"  personalized  bag and the Little Lady in her "Little Lady" personalized bag. But since the Lady only wears dresses, and only three specific dresses, I will probably just pack them both in one big bag. But .. . the Lady is well on her way to being potty-trained, we may need to bring her bag stuffed to the top with all of her undies, since she likes to have just the right amount of Princess/Dora/Tinkerbell undies on hand.

I have to pack the potty.

Then I need to pack all the linens/pillows/food/cookies/George fruit snacks/Caffeine-free Pepsi (for the hubby)/Box-O-Joe (filled with caffeine, for me)/booze and what amounts to like a thousand blankets and stuffed animals associated with both the Ladies (but mostly the Lady herself) and some toys to keep my kids and the additional 18.5 children who will be joining us, entertained.

Maybe I should get a mini-van, just for our stuff. Or maybe I should bring two bottles of Vodka with me instead of one.

I want to be organized. I want to be packed up on Wednesday night. I want to come home from work on Thursday, serve my family a simple, healthy and delicious meal, throw one little bag filled with the aforementioned bedtime blankets, my phone and our toothbrushes into the car. Plug in the DVD player, listen to Wow Wow Wubbzy for the 800th time and be one our way.

I am somehow uncertain this will be the outcome I am looking for. I am 100% sure that Wubbzy will be playing in the DVD player, but to be ready to go, without 15 extra trips from the house to the car, my husband giving me his not-so-subtle look of  "Hurry up Honey, I am ready to explode here, even though you did all of the packing, organizing, cooking and cleaning it takes to get out of the house, and I just packed a bag for myself and put the Ladies in the car, so I can't understand why you aren't quite ready to go, when I am so CLEARLY ready to leave," might not be so obtainable.

I have a list. I am good at making lists. I like crossing things off lists, but I am not sure everything on my list will actually fit in the car. I have to remind myself we will be gone for 3 nights. I do not need to bring 15 changes of clothes, since I am sure I will end up wearing two beach dresses, a sweatshirt and a college t-shirt from 1997 for most of the time I am there. The Lady we know, will be wearing three dresses and her bathing suits, and not for nothing, most of the time my kids are hanging out in nothing but a diaper or undies, so maybe I should just pack one outfit for each of them and call it a day. Besides, they have washer and dryers there.

That is it. I am scaling back. I will bring one bag for the Ladies and me. I will bring the umbrella stroller, I will pack only what we need and not what we "might need." I will be prepared, but not overly prepared. I will bring one bottle of Vodka. I will simplify my life and this trip, so that when we actually get there, I can hold more than a three second conversation with my adult friends. I will focus more on the people I am with than the crap in my car.

I will. . .  I will.. .

I will probably post a photo of what the back of the trunk looks like as we drive out on Thursday night, with entirely too much stuff jammed into the car, a look of annoyance on our faces, perhaps me sipping through a straw the dregs of lemon mash at the bottom of my Vodka soda, listening to the mind-searingly catchy Wubb-Girlz singing "Sing a song, sing, sing, sing along, sing, sing. . . " as we drive out onto the highway into the fading sun, on our way, finally on our way.

(Side note: if you get a chance check out the Wikipedia page about Wubb Idol--have you ever seen this many W's and Z's in your life? Also, I found a blog dedicated to Wow Wow Wubbzy songs--shoot me now.)