Here are a few things I have done lately that I think define what it means to be a mother.
1. I was at Walmart at 7:15 this morning picking up foam stickers and graham crackers for the Little Lady's snack/craft at school. (Should this have been pre-planned? Yes. But it isn't as easy as you might think to find appropriate crafts for 2-year-olds that aren't incredibly complicated or choking hazards. BTW. . . Michael's in Stamford, it wouldn't kill you to stay open later than 8 p.m., some of us can't craft shop by day)
2. QT has terribly dry skin and once his diaper comes off he goes for his manhood with gusto. In an effort to stop him from scratching himself so badly that he sometimes bleeds (I know, it is terrible) sometimes I scratch him myself (not his balls OK? that would just be weird, but the dry area above his, as the Ladies used to say, "peanut").
3. One of my children, who will remain nameless, recently asked me to remove some leftover toilet paper from her moon. (I know--an image of those god-awful Charmin commercials that make me cringe come to mind for me as well. The whole bear-in-the-woods thing is slightly terrifying to me.) As she was bending over for said removal, her hair fell over the side of the toilet and into the unflushed bowl (it was just pee). For about ten seconds I contemplated not giving her a bath because it was 8:30 at night and I was tired. Personal hygiene eventually won out. Note to self: schedule haircuts.
These are the things that the books don't tell you. They don't say that after being woken up in the middle of the night (again) by one of your children that two hours later you would find yourself dodging puddles in a Walmart parking lot buying glitter foam stickers and Scooby-Doo graham crackers. They don't tell you that you will go through so much "moonie cream" that the smell of A&D will haunt your dreams. They don't say that after a long day at work or at home with the kids that you don't have the option of not doing for your children. Baths at 8:30 p.m. to avoid pee in the hair? Check. Making star-shaped jelly sandwiches at 10 p.m. for Lunch Bunch? Check. Having to listen to some terrible kid show for the 800th time so that you can get dinner on the table? Check. Explaining the art of movie magic to a two-year-old? Check.
And on it goes. . .
Would love to share a few of your most memorable mom moments. Email, fb , tweet them or leave in the comments section and I will post them this month. Always looking for confirmation that I am not alone out there in the crazy that occurs in my house!