Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Mommy Mind Melt

I knew that with pregnancy came the "mommy melt" the phenomenon of walking into a room and not remembering why you were there or trying to form a coherent sentence that came out only slightly more articulate than a conversation with Charlie Brown's teachers. Whah, Whah, Whah, Wha.

I also knew that with the combination of lack of sleep, the sheer amount of baby paraphernalia to tote and speaking and dreaming in baby talk, that once the baby came it might not be something easily overcome.

Yesterday I left the house without my cell phone. Not a huge problem considering I was still in the driveway, the engine running and the babes all strapped in. It became much more problematic when I realized that I didn't have any house keys. Where were those house keys? The ones that I thought I threw into my purse, the ones that I paused to look for on the kitchen table before running out the door, the ones I didn't see there. Those same keys I used momentarily to distract the babes. Why would I hand my daughter a bacteria covered choking hazard to chew on? I had to pee (within sight line of course and with the door wide open) and tie my shoes.

We were on a quick run to the store for milk and the little lady's baby crack (or what I like to call cantaloupe). Oh, did I mention I didn't bring the diaper bag? Why would I need it? I just changed her and we would be home in a half hour--plenty of time to get her her bottle.


Now a few questions might come to mind. One, why are your car keys and house keys separate? Well my big fat VW key does not fit on my monogrammed Tiffany key ring. So there. Question number two might be, don't you have an extra house key somewhere? A hide a key under a fake rock, one taped to the underside of your welcome mat? Indeed we do have an extra key, which we keep on a very nice key chain in the garage and the one time I actually need it, it was in the house. Question three begs to be asked. Why was it inside? Because, my husband used it to get into the house after spending the evening in the City and never returned it to its proper place.

Was it my fault I forgot the keys? Yes. Was it my fault I forgot my phone and now couldn't even call anyone? Yes. But really, couldn't he have just put it back in the garage? A loud resounding YES!

Damn you mommy melt. Damn you.

Now, both my brother and sister live within 10-15 minutes of me, both have keys to my house. My brother was at the Yankee game, my sister was out on Long Island with my mom. My husband, the one who left me high and dry in the driveway, he was in the City (again) watching the Notre Dame game. None of my immediate neighbors were home, so I decided to go find a pay phone, make a few calls and then finish out my errand to the store (at least I could buy diapers and formula if I needed to).

Do you know how hard it is to find a pay phone? I did see one at the end of our street as I was making a turn into oncoming traffic and was unable to stop. I decided to move ahead, perhaps the train station would have one. I did a quick drive-by. There were none that I could see and since I wasn't willing to get the babes out and really look, I turned around and headed home. Would you believe that someone was actually on the pay phone when I got back? I decided to forgo the wait and knock on some doors of people I didn't actually know. Luckily as I was grabbing the babes out of the car, my immediate neighbor came home. Thank you Leena! She let me borrow her phone and offered us shelter.

I called the hubby first. He could sense my despair. It was a quick call. I then spoke to my sister, she was on her way home but had just left. It would be another hour and a half before she got back. Luckily, she does have a hide-a-key and it was right where she left it. It was also lucky that I didn't wait for the guy on the pay phone. As I drove back down the road I spotted the guy still yammering away. Jeez, that must have been a lot of quarters spent.

If I had been locked out on my own I probably would have driven to Target and spent an easy 75 bucks on face creams and new hand towels. Now that I have the babes my whole mindset has changed. Would I be willing to spend the afternoon at a strangers waiting for someone with a key? How would I be able to meet all of her needs? Thankfully, she had a clean diaper and thankfully I had the car. When I think of the awesome responsibility wrapped up in that cute face, it never ceases to amaze me, even if I am only thinking about it with a muddled, melted mind.

Oh, and the keys? Not on the table where I thought I left them, but sitting on the counter where I threw them after forceable removing them from my little lady's mouth.

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