Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Poo Foot and Other Daily Disasters

Got the poo foot this morning. You know when you are trying to change a squirming baby as quickly as possible and they put their foot right into the poo? Yeah, one of those mornings. What happened to my content little daughter, whose favorite place in the world was stretched out on the changing table. Things are changing and changing fast. Now, my husband and I have to double team her, one of us distracts while the other one tries to do a quick diaper change. We have tried the stand up version, but it doesn't work well. The diaper becomes crazed and mismanaged. She walks out of there with half her butt showing and the diaper so high up on her hips we are in camel toe territory.

When I am alone with her I hand her everything and anything to prevent her from sitting up bare bottomed, reaching over the side of the dresser and pulling out every bit of clothing from the top drawer. I will admit I give her a tube of A&D ointment to play with. My husband reminds me that this is actually poison. It isn't like she is ingesting it, she is just playing with it near and in and around her mouth. I did hear the little click of the top opening between her teeth yesterday, so maybe we will move onto less dangerous territory. Hand cream maybe?

Baby bulimia? My daughter has also started shoving her hand down the back of her throat after a meal. I am a pretty good cook so I am thinking maybe I am piling on too many carbs. Has this happened to anyone else? I am just waiting for the inevitable throw up all over her tray and me inevitably puking as well because my gag reflex is quick to kick in. Now, I know eating disorders aren't funny and I am continuing to wrestle with my own food demons, but seriously I haven't seen that much commitment to sticking your fingers down your throat since college. Also, my daughter thinks it's hilarious. She laughs, chokes, laughs and chokes, until I have to physically remove her hand from her mouth. Good times.

So tonight begins another season of the Biggest Loser. I am super psyched people. It is couples again, which I thought was a great idea last season and I can't wait to see the transformations to come. I love a makeover show. Give me anything from Extreme Home Makeover to What Not to Wear and I will watch it. Inspired by the new season, I vow not to watch the show while eating peanut M&M's and twizzlers and spiraling into a shame cycle towards the end because the contestants have started to weigh less then me. I have decided to get moving. Step one in my quest to find balance is a food journal and a commitment to get active.

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