Salesman: Work, huh? Let me guess. Computer programmer, computer magazine columnist, something with computers?
Homer: Well, I use a computer.
Salesman: [quietly, to self] Yeah, what's the connection? Must be the non-stop sitting and snacking.[more audibly] Well, sir, many of our clients find pants confining, so we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman: ponchos, muumuus, capes, jumpsuits, unisheets, muslim body rolls, academic and judicial robes --
Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu.
**********
I too, don't want to look like a weirdo and am thinking that at this point a muumuu is my only option in terms of comfortable, last days of pregnancy wear.
The weather is warm, and the long sleeve shirts and cardigans I have been sporting for the last nine months aren't cutting it in this weather. Granted, I was pregnant in the summer with both the Ladies, but after wearing those clothes through two pregnancies, I found that most of them were stained and kind of tattered and I figured that I would get a few more things as I got closer to my due date.
However, I am literally down to two pairs of "casual" pants, one at least is full paneled so that I am not too worried that my actual stomach is hanging out, the other pair is low paneled but I like them better so I have to deal with the daily dilemma of of pulling my shirt down low enough to make sure my stomach isn't poking through, but then risking the exposure of some serious boob salad. It is a catch-22 that I think could be easily solved with a multi-colored muumuu or perhaps a king-size bed sheet.
Luckily, I have a very best friend who showed up to dinner the other night with some yoga pants from Old Navy to wear post-pregnancy (oh yes, Old Navy you have roped me in again--did I mention that I actual went out and bought another pair of smelly jellies? This time for the Little Lady, who loves them just as much as her sister does) and I have been able to mix those into my casual pants wear, but the t-shirt selection is still pretty small. I did buy a full coverage t-shirt from Target last weekend, but decided it wasn't worth it to buy more than one because I was so close to my due date (seriously kid--come out soon!) so now I am just washing said black t-shirt almost every day in an attempt to make sure I don't have to do the belly vs. boob face off and hoping that the baby shows up soon so that I can start wearing my nursing bra/tank-top/yoga pants/beach dresses summer wardrobe that I am hoping will get me through the next few months.
But until that moment when this baby finally shows its little face it's the muumuu that momma wants, I mean really who wants to look like a weirdo?
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