Last night as I pecked out a few words for my Monday post, the Lady happened to be sitting beside me and asked "What is the three bean?"
I have been blogging about her for 5 years and she didn't even know it.
I like to think I am not taking advantage of her childhood, her moods, her actions. I like to think I am not exploiting my kids just because I happen to like to write and this is an outlet as well as a way to capture all those moments that you can easily forget.
I don't know though. In ten years when she reads some of these things will she be embarrassed or angry?
In twenty five years will she be grateful she can look back and see what a new mom goes through? A mom of two? Of three? Will she relate? Will she be happy to hear my voice on these pages?
I write about my children because they are such a huge part of my life, and life isn't just photos on facebook and parenting doesn't always equate to joy. They will remember the big things, Disney trips and vacations, but it is those small moments of crazy, it is random afternoons at the beach, getting stuck in rainstorms, changing diapers in the trunk of a car, its puking kids and dance parties that I want them to know about as well.
The Lady and I took a few minutes to look back at some old posts. Her first birthday, Halloween, Christmas when she was 3. I am amazed always at how much she has grown. How much of a big girl she seems these days.
I am forever grateful to her as well. She changed my life. Changed the way I write and why I write and who I write for.
I hope that when my kids eventually do read these pages that even though they may not remember all the details, that even though they might be a little embarrassed or put out that they can hear through all these words how much they are loved.