Saturday, January 11, 2014

Ready for our Close Up

I am volunteering with Komen Connecticut to help with their second walk in Fairfield County. Last year an amazing group came out and supported me and I feel like I have the opportunity to give something back.

I also consented to being one of the "faces" of the walk, meaning I would take part in a photo shoot for some promotional pieces. We were supposed to bring our family to be a part of it. We were to arrive at 12:30 so I could get made up and the photo shoot was to start at 1.

Here is a little rundown of the day.

9:30: I remind the kids about the photo shoot. The Lady doth protest.

10:15: I finally get in the shower.

10:30: I, (for the first time, even though I have known about this for weeks) look in the kids closet for clothes. I mean the Ladies have a ton of pink. QT, not so much, but he can wear black. The only problem is he has no black. Not a super popular color in the toddler set.

11:00: The Little Lady is fully dressed, the Lady is refusing to go. I put on my one pink tank top and throw over a basic black cardigan. My husband has a closet of perfectly pink shirts and looks totally put together as usual.

11:30: The Lady gets dressed. Some hair gets brushed. I cry a little because nobody is listening.

11:50: We leave the house for the photo shoot that is about 20 minutes away.

12:05: We stop for a pink and black shirt for QT. I also pick up two pink shirts for the Ladies. 

12:30: We are right on time.

1:00: I get in the makeup chair. The kids keep themselves occupied with bagels and iPads.

1:15: The Ladies come over to check out the face paint.

1:30: The Little Lady gets in the makeup chair. The makeup artist (who was wonderful and did a great job) put some lipstick on her.

1:32: The Little Lady pouts because all she got was lipstick.

1:35: The very nice makeup artist brushes the Little Lady's hair (with a brush with actual bristles and not from the maternity ward at the hospital), and then gives her a little hairspray and brushes a makeup brush across her face. The Little Lady is ecstatic.

1:52: I check my phone and let my husband know what time it is. It is a fine line people before things start to quickly crumble. He and I are acutely aware of it.

2:05: I get my lipstick on. We dust the dirt of QT's new black shirt (you can't expect a 2-year-old NOT to roll around a little in an empty storefront/temporary photo studio).

2:15: We are smiling, well four out of five of us are. 

2:25: The kids are done. I hope there is at least one good shot of all of us. I am ready for my close up.

2:30: The photographer calls me out on my fake smile. I know. I know.

2:45: That's a wrap people. 

The kids are looking for fruit snacks in the diaper bag and as usual we have to pack up a ton of stuff that seemed to multiply once we walked into the door, but the kids had yet to meltdown.

I could see them from where I stood in front of the backdrop, sweating under the lighting, the three of them tracing raindrops with their fingers down the large, storefront glass and at that moment, I wished my kids weren't in that room.

Not because they behaved badly, not because they filled me with a ton of anxiety about how they might behave, but because three kids under seven shouldn't have a mom with cancer. 

But here we were and I am proud of them, proud of their pouts and frowns, their dirty shirts and messy hair. Proud that I get to be a part of their lives and proud that they stood with me today.

I also know that I will wait another year before I hire a professional photographer to take any family photos of my kids. I am not paying a ton of money for one kid pouting, one kid over posing and one kid looking away. Looks like candids on next years Christmas cards! 


  1. oh, the fake smile...I SO had that on the day we decided to get our family portrait done, after 16 years since our last one. It is hard NOT to have one after a half hour of poses. I am still glad we have the photos.

    1. I will take any photos of us together actually. You should have seen the family pic I sent into school this year. Only three of us were looking in the general direction of the camera. I always think that the ones that aren't quite perfect are much more reflective of the truth of our lives.